Week 17: the late edition

Bills @ Baltimore

The Bills finally lost one against the spread...and of course it is the only week all year I chose them. I can't believe no one is blasting me for my Just Punt (JP) lines considering he is actually not playing that bad. However, the Ravens D will never be confused with that of the Titans, Dolphins, Jets, Texans or Packers...just some of the teams he has played. Baltimore needs this win to ensure a bye and could slide into home field throughout if the Chargers somehow manage to lose to the upstart Cardinals.

"The Man" has Baltimore giving 9 and the total at 35. I don't see the average Buffalo D being able to contain Air McNair and the revitalized Ravens attack. Again, the big spreads are going to kill me...take the Ravens and give the points...4 stars. I also am very tempted by the over, but would ultimately stay away due to the JP factor.

Dolphins @ Colts

Cleo Lemon is making his first NFL start at the Colts house on Sunday. Luckily the game plan will be for him to hand the ball to Ronnie Brown...and then do it again and again and again and again and...I think you catch my drift. The Cotls meanwhile will be playing at the same time as the Ravens, so they will not know if they have a chance to get to a bye week other than scoreboard watching throughout the game. Someone please explain how the Colts managed to lose to the Texans in such a critical game?

"The Man" has the Colts giving 9 and the total at only 42. I really like the Colts as they have something to play for and the other team is getting their first start from their QB. I am actually going to say that Colts win, but will take the points due to the dreaded back door cover. The over is what I am jumping on right now. I know the Dolphins have been playing D, but the Colts are averaging over 30 points per game at home this season...no reason to believe this ends this week. Take the over for 3 stars.

Falcons @ Eagles

The Dirty Birds travel to Philly looking for some love. However, all the love left last night when the Giants won. The Eagles will know by their kickoff if they need to win or not, depending on teh results of the Cowboys game. I am assuming the Cowboys will win and the Eagles will need to win. The Falcons will come into this game without heart and nothing to play for.

"The Man" has the Eagles giving 8.5 and the total at 43. I really like the Eagles in this game regardless of what it means, but won't make it an official play. I like the over if the Eagles need to win and the under if they don't...so check the Dallas score. Ultimately, this is a no touch game.

SF @ Broncos

The 49ers had been playing tough until last week when they lost to the Cardinals last week with their playoff lives on the line. The Broncos may need to win depending on the result of the Chiefs game. Another one we will have to wait for certain.

"The Man" has the Broncos giving 10 and the total at 39. The Broncos will win this game, but I think they only cover if they need it. So, check the Chiefs score before making a final decision here. Ultimately, I would go under the total due to weather and the Broncos stifling D.

Cardinals @ Chargers

The Chargers are going to need a win to secure home field throughout the playoffs. The Cardinals have nothing to play for including a lame duck coach and Dennis Green is most likely not going to be back.

"The Man" has the Chargers giving 14 and the total at 44. I think the Cardinals should be able to cover the large spread, but the Chargers win. I would trend to under the total, but wouldn't play either the line or the total.

Packers @ Bears

Packers need more than a mircale to make the playoffs...I am not sure what you would call it...I think I have a better chance of getting the "Girls Next Door" to move in with me than they have of making the playoffs. The Bears are playing for nothing. I will take Favre's heart over a meaningless game for the Bears.

"The Man" has the Bears giving 3 and the total at 37.5. I would trend to the Packers and Favre and the over, but no official play on this game.

Here's hoping week 17 is sweeter than 16...the early edition

The Gurus had their worst week of the year in week 16. We couldn't have hit a bull's ass with a handful of rice it was so bad. Our annual total stands at a negative 34.3 stars...completely wiping away the 31.6 stars of yesteryear. However, we will never throw in the towel...this is the only thing that gets me away from my wife and job. It is time I call out the noticably absent GuruJoe. He used to travel for work and this was his leisure activity, but now that he is home his wife can't keep her hands off him.......NOT!!! Therefore, I am blaming GuruJoe for our failing this year as he hasn't been seen in weeks on these boards. Lotion and GuruBob keep plugging away trying to fill the void. Lotion keeps filling your wallets while I keep making shit in the infamous words of Borat. Well, on to week 17:

Steelers @ Bengals

My Defending Super Bowl Champion Pittsburgh Steelers travel to the much hated Bengals in hopes of reaching 8 - 8...and keeping the Bengals from making the post season. Is this Cowher's last game? Do the Steelers have any pride left? Will the Bengals stay out of jail long enough to play the game? Bengals have a chance to slip in and have everything to play for. This goes to my philosophy on tonight's game...desperation vs. pride...desperation usually wins.

"The Man" has the Bengals giving 6 and the total at 44. I wouldn't touch the line, but would trend to the Steelers, although I think the Bengals win the game outright. I really liked the over until I saw the weather forecast of 80% chance of rain...trend over regardless, but check back for a potential play during pre-game.

Lions @ Cowboys

The Cowardly Lions take their show on the road for the final week to the heart of Texas to face the Cowboys...BREAKING NEWS: The Lions have been eliminated from the playoffs. They have managed to keep some of their recent games close...but they still stink. The Cowboys meanwhile have been the most underachieving playoff bound team of late. They got hammered by the Eagles last week...I guess they are sick of playing on holidays and decided to boycott that game on Christmas day. Dallas needs to win and then hope Atlanta can knock off the Eagles and still clinch the division.

"The Man" has Dallas giving 13 and the total at 44. I love Dallas in this game, but will ultimately learn my lesson and stay away from the large number. The over is really intriguing to me as Detroit still has a couple of weapons that might be able to score...Let's go over this total with a 3 star selection. Dallas has given up an average of 28 points the last 4 weeks and the Lions can't stop anyone.

Browns @ Texans

The Browns lost by 15 to the Bucs...Texans beat the Colts, who were fighting for a bye. Enough said on this pillow fight...oh yeah, Ken Dorsey is starting for the Browns...now enough is said about this one.

"The Man" has the Texans giving 5 and the total at 37.5. I wouldn't touch this game with all the money in Jenna Jamison's G-string, but would lean towards the Texans and the under...I guess.

Jaguars @ Chiefs

Both teams need a miracle to make the playoffs, but you never know in the way the league has gone thus far this year. Jaguars only give up 86 yards per game on the ground...meanwhile the Chiefs rush for 160 at home per game. Something has to give. Trent Green has been very average since his return, but don't look for Huard to get on the field even if Green continues to struggle.

"The Man" has the Chiefs giving 2 and the total at 37. I would stay away from the game, but would ultimately lean towards the Chiefs at home and the under. Arrowhead is a tough place to play and the Jaguars struggle on the road. Both teams will want to run and run often, so that should keep the scoring and possessions down.

Rams @ Vikings

The Rams take the greatest show on turf on the road for the final game of the year to Minnesota. Rams come in winning 2 in a row, while the Vikings have lost 2 in a row. Jackson appears to be starting again for the Vikings. Marc Bulger still has no one to block for him.

"The Man" has the Rams giving 2.5 and the total at 43. Stay away from this pillow fight, but I would trend toward the Vikings at home and the under. I am switching this to the Rams due to secondary changes for the Vikings.

Panthers @ Saints

Jake Dlehomme appears ready to come back in this meaningless game to the Saints. The Panthers weren't faring to well with Jake in there before he got injured...and they fared even worse without him. The Saints meanwhile have nothing to play for. The question is how long with Payton let his starters play. Other than their defeat to the Redskins a couple of weeks ago, the Saints have been awesome. I can't see Payton risking injury beyond the first half in this one.

"The Man" started out giving the Panthers 3 and it has now gone the other way when Jake Delhomme was announced as the starter. The Panthers have been eliminated by the Giants victory Saturday night. I am going to take the points in this one as the Panthers are coming in on a down note. I will also go over the 38...but no official plays. Late added play here...take the Panthers -2 for 4 stars as the Saints are going to be sitting most starters.

Raiders @ Jets

The Raiders suck in case you didn't know. Chad Pennington meanwhile continues to play with heart and leading the J.E.T.S Jets Jets Jets. The Jets need this win to make the playoffs. The Raiders have nothing to play for and are full of self-helping players.

"The Man" has the Jets giving 11.5 and the total at 34. I think the Jets win, but the Oakland D and bad weather should be enough for them to cover. I really like the under if the weather is as bad as advertised. I can't see either team reaching the 20's in this one. Check back tomorrow around game to see if this is an added play once we see the weather. Staying away today.

Seahawks @ Buccaneers

The Seahwaks need to right the ship heading into the playoffs. The Buccaneers have nothing to play for. I think the Seahawks will be playing to end the losing streak.

"The Man" has the Buccaneers favored by 3 and the total at 37. I have to take the points and assume Mike Holgren keeps his guys playing until the game is wrapped up. Rattay looked good last week, but remember that was the Browns. Seahawks should win outright based on talent, therfore take the points as well. I would ultimately go over the total, but I think it is dead on. Stay away...unlike GuruJoe's wife lately. I am also adding the Seahawks +3 as a 3 star play. Holmgren has stated that the starters are going to play the whole game as expectecd.

Patriots @ Titans

The Patriots have been an achilles heel for me all year. The Patriots need this win less than the Titans as they are most likely locked into the 4th seed unless something really weird like the Ravens and Colts both lose. The Titans have a miracle shot left in them to make the playoffs. They have been playing pretty good ball lately as Vince continues to get more comfortable every week.

"The Man" has the Titans favored by 3 and the total at 41.5. I am really torn on this game because I wonder what Sweatshirt Bill will do. I assume he will play as if it is possible he could get the #2 seed. Therefore, I gotta take the points. The over is very intriguing to me, but would ultimately let this game go as there are plenty of other nuggets on the board.

G-strings or G-men

In just a little less than 2 hours from now, we are going to find out the true identity of the New York Football Giants. Blow number one may have taken place as Jeremy Shockey did not make the trip to the nation's capital for tonight's game...maybe he has G-strings and getting rid of Tom on his mind. The Giants have lost 6 of their last seven, yet still control their own destiny for the playoffs...thus showing the "parity" of the NFL. Tom Coughlin's job is on the line tonight and that was made abundantly clear when he demoted his O-coordinator and put the play calling duties in the hands of Kevin Gilbride...the QB coach who has done such a great job with Manning this year...NOT!!!!

On the other sideline, Jason Campbell has been getting better every week. He is only 2 - 4 as a starter, but they have essentially been in every game. What more would the Redskins like for the New Year than to keep the hated Giants out of the playoffs. Ladell Betts has been doing more than adequate in replacing Clinton Portis thus far this year. To say this D has been mediocre would be insulting all mediocre D's across the league.

So what is a Guru to do? The ESPN experts are split on this game. All the CBS experts save one are taking the Redskins. The teams match up fairly equal on paper. Average offenses and average defenses. If Jeremy Shockey would take his G-string off and play, then I would definitely look for the Giants to expose the bad passing D of the Redskins, but he is not playing. Plax will be flailing his arms and pouting at the fist over throw.

"The Man" has the Giants giving 2 and the total at 43. Desperation should overcome pride in this type of a game, but you never know, which means I think the Giants win. Therefore, I am going against the experts and taking the Giants for 3 stars. As for the total, the tie breaker in the NFC could come down to margin of victory, so there will be no letting up. I would ultimately think that two run first teams should go under the total, but in this case the Giants will need to push the offense in this game. Therefore, I am going over the total as well, but no official play.

Sweet 16 + the Holiday Season = A Happy New Year

Gurus hit a couple of big ones last week and split the rest of the weekend for the most part. Our total ended up at negative 21.1 for the year. It is too late to give you the Chiefs as a lock, but it was posted to paying customers. We shall see if it hits. In case anyone doubts the gurus dedication to these pages, I am sitting in a bedroom at my sister-in-laws acting sick to write this up and watch the Chiefs game online as they don't get the NFL network. Let's get right into week 16.

Titans @ Bills

One these teams playoff lives will be killed tomorrow and the other will still be on the outside looking in and hoping Santa can deliver an early present. The Titans are thinking they got their early Christmas present last April when Vince Young slipped to them. He has been a leader and playing solid. Is it possible that Just Punt (JP) doesn't suck as bad as these gurus think? The Titans come into this one with 5 wins ATS in a row and the Bills are at least 7...so something has to give.

Bills are giving 4.5 and the total at 36.5. I would ultimately stay away from both, but like the Bills and over.

Saints @ Giants

The Saints travel to the Meadowlands after a disappointing showing last week against the Redskins. Does this mean this week is the back to surprising people? Meanwhile, Michael Strahan looks to see some action this week after practicing several days this week. He is the emotional and physical leader on this defense.

The Giants are giving the home field 3 and the total is at 47.5. I am really torn here as both teams have been enigmas this year. The Saints kill the Cowboys, then lose to the Redskins. Ultimately, I am going to say that Strahan makes a play in his return and gets the Giants the victory and cover. I would ultimate also go with under the total...the Meadowlands are never easy to play in and the winds should be blowing despite the unseasonably warm weather. No official play here.

Panthers @ Falcons

Weinke or Vick? I think I will take Michael Vick in this one. The Panthers are reeling and are one of the biggest disappointments in the league this year as many experts had them going all the way, but you can't predict losing 3 OL and a starting MLB...not to mention other injuries throughout the year.

The Falcons are favored by 6 and the total at 40.5. I would trend with the Falcons and under. These two teams should be able to contain each other offenses...however, I ultimately wouldn't touch.

Redskins @ Rams

The Rams have been terrible since Orlando Pace got hurt and they weren't so good before his injury...and no I don't count the Rams victory at Raiders as a "big win". The Redskins have been playing some good defense and Jason Campbell continues to get better.

The Rams are giving 2 and the total at 43.5. I would trend to the Redskins to pull the mild upset and under the total, but no official play here.

Colts @ Texans

Colts travel to Houston after having dominated the Bungles in virtually every aspect of the game last week. The offense is on fire and the defense actually played decent. It is amazing what a 10 point lead does to a D. The Texans meanwhile got embarassed as this guru predicted last week in New England.

The Colts are giving 9 on the road and the total is at 46.5. The gurus have been killed by the big road favorites. I just can't see the Texans keeping this close, especially since the Colts are still playing for a bye. Take the Colts and go over the total. Colts are a 3 star play.

Ravens @ Steelers

The Ravens embarassed my Super Bowl Defending Pittsburgh Steelers about 4 weeks ago. The Steelers have gone a a run winning 3 in a row and demolishing each opponent. Should I note that the combined record of those three teams they beat is 13 - 29. However, this is how you build confidence. I am most concerned with a rookie right tackle starting for the Steelers after Ben got sacked 9 times last meeting.

The Steelers are giving 3.5 and the total at 36.5. I can't see the Steelers giving 3.5 to a team of this caliber, but how often do you see the next game flip completely. Therefore, I am going to take the Steelers and give the points and go over the total. No official play, but just trying to make sense of something that makes no sense.

TB @ Browns

The Browns are still playing Derek Anderson. Tim Rattay gets his first start of the year for the Bucs. These are two horrible teams playing for nothing. Cadillac will stay in the garage for this one.

Browns are giving 3 points and the total at 36.5. I think you all know by now that I would never play this game, but I would trend to the Bucs and the over.

Bears @ Lions

This is a typical end of the year trap game. The Bears have nothing to play for as they have clinched home field throughout the NFC playoffs. The Lions stink. They are terrible and are in the Brady Quinn running. The Bears will be happy to get out healthy. The Lions wish they didn't have to play any more this year.

The Bears are giving 5.5 and the total is at 42. I would go under the total, but nothing official. I am going to take the underdogs in this one as the Bears are missing their interior DL and have no reason to play. No official plays here.

Pats @ Jags

The Jaguars are playing host to the Patriots. The Patriots are on the outside looking in for a bye, but still have potential. The Jaguars need to start winning to make the playoffs. The 3 defensive TD's obviously cost them the game against the Titans. The Jaguars are 6 - 1 at home comapared to 2 - 5 on the road. The Patriots meanwhile have a very solid 5 - 1 record on the road. Which Patriots team will show up?

The Jaguars are giving 3 and the total is 37. I hate this game, but would ultimately go with the Jaguars at home based on their tough physical D. I would also trend to go over the total, but would stay away.

Cardinals @ 49ers

The Cardinals got their proverbial butts handed to them last week. The 49ers meanwhile have a shot at the NFC West title with two Seattle losses, which is possible based on their schedule. Matt Leinart is starting to play better, but this is still the Cardinals.

The 49ers are giving 4 and the total at 45. Is it posisble that I am making a rated play on the 49ers and small hands Smith? Yes it is...this team has shown they have some fight left in them adn the home crowd should be able to keep them up. I would trend to go under the total, but would stay away. 49ers are a 2 star play.

Bengals @ Broncos

Bungles hit the road on short rest to face the Broncos. Jay Cutler had a good game against the Cardinals last week. If there is one place you would not want to travel to on short rest, I am guessing Denver would be at the top of that list. I am wondering if the Bengals have the heart and toughness to stay in this game.

The Broncos are giving 3 and the total at 44. I would go under the total and take the mules, but no official play as I want to see Jay get it done against a real team before I start making them official selections.

SD @ Seattle

The Seahawks have always been a much better home team than road team. They are fighting for their playoff lives. They just got embarassed at home by the 49ers. Is it possible these guys just aren't that good? Maybe Steve Hutchinson is that important. The Chargers meanwhile keep plugging away and dominating everyone in their path.

The Chargers are giving 4.5 and the total is at 46. I love the Chargers in this game as they have been solid and the Hawks struggle to stop the run...did I mention LT yet. I also like the over in this one. I am going with my gut as I did last week and split. I am taking the Chargers for 2 stars and the over for 3 stars. If you haver the cajones that I do, then you would make it a parlay for 2 as well. BTW, this is the first official parlay call this year.

Eagles @ Cowboys

Jeff Garcia is playing great with only one INT since taking over for McNabb. Romo has come back to earth for the Cowboys, but still getting it done. The Eagles have their playoff destiny in their own hands. The Cowboys are playing for a bye. This should be a great Christmas gift to all of us football fans.

The Cowboys are giving 7 and the total at 46.5. I would trend to go with the Cowboys, but would stay away. I love the over here. Take the over for 4 stars.

NYJ @ Fins

I can't figure out either of these teams, so there won't be any official plays. I like the Fins to play spoiler to their hated Jet rivals. But I hoenstly don't have a good pulse on this game. The total is 37. I would normally say go under, but something tells me this one ends up being one of those wild games these teams play. Take the over, but no official play.

The week before sweetness...

I know most people think about sweet 16, but the gurus are hoping to love week 15. You got one early nugget with the Cowboys covering the 3.5 for 3 stars...that brings our total this year to negative 19.1 stars for the year. Could the gurus actually be primed for post season play? We will find out shortly. Unfortunately I can't do the normal write-up and will tell you the lines and trends and make the selections.

Jets @ Vikes

J.E.T.S. Jets Jets Jets hit the road to the domed field in Minnesota to face the Vikings. The Vikings will put their 4th ranked D on the field against the 26th ranked O of the Jets hoping to keep their playoff hopes alive. "Old Man" Johnson has been playing very average at best.

"The Man" has the Vikings giving 3 and the total at 41. The Vikings are very intriguing to me as I am believing in their D. I would trend to the under, but wouldn't touch the total. The Vikes are certainly in play.

Browns @ Ravens

29th offense meet the #1 defense...enough said.

"The Man" has Baltimore giving 11.5 and the total at 34.5. I love Baltimore in this game. Baltimore is doing just enough on offense to keep this one on track. The Browns meanwhile are likely to start Andersen again and have lost their leading tackler in Jackson. The Browns are just to beat up to compete in this one. Ravens win easily...in fact, I would stay away from the line, but would trend over on some late points on either team to cover the total. Take the Ravens for 2 Stars.

Texans @ Pats

I hate this game. Pats should blow this team out...however, they are beat up on both sides of the ball and are reeling from the loss in Miami. Texans meanwhile might be the worst team in the NFL again...anyone else think they might want Reggie Bush now?

"The Man" has the Patriots giving 11 and the total at 37 . I wouldn't touch either, but would tend to go with the Pats on the rebound and the over. When was the last time the Pats lost four in a row? Ok, I convinced myself to take the Pats for 2 Stars.

Fins @ Bills

I don't keep it a secret that I think J. P. (Just Punt) sucks. The Dolphins are on roll winning 5 of their last 6...and these weren't your typical patsy wins. The Bills meanwhile have won 3 of their last 4. I guess both teams are playing for the best team after the mid-season report card award.

"The Man" has the Bills giving 1 and the total at 34.5. The fish really intrigue me here based on their recent defensive play...but the total doesn't interest me at all. I would tend to go over the small total. Fins are a 3 star play.

Steelers @ Carolina

My beloved Steelers are road favorites at Carolina by 3...I guess everyone else has as much respect for their running game and Weinke as I do. I love the Steelers in this game. Our #6 rushing defense will make Weinke and company one dimetional...and that will spell trouble. The total is at 38. I wouldn't touch this, but I would definitely trend to the over. Steelers are a 4 star play.

Redskins @ Saints

The #1 offensive team comes to face a below average Redskins defense...do I need to say more?

"The Man" has the Saints giving 9 and the total at 46.5. The Redskins have not scored more than 20 points since Jason Campbell took over. The Saints meanwhile continue to average over 27 points/game...I would ultimately stay away, however I would trend to the Saints and under the total.

Jaguars @ Titans

Jaguars come to Tennessee hoping to maintain their strangehold on the AFC wild card race. The Titans have won 4 straight against the likes of Eagles, Giants, Colts, and Texans...now that is impressive. The Jaguars meanwhile are a mere 2-4 on the road this year...so what is a man to do?

"The Man" has the Jaguars giving 3 and the total at 41. I would ultimately stay away from the enigmatic Jaguars, but would certainly tend to go with them...I also will say under the total, but no official play.

TB @ Bears

TB is really bad...Bears are pretty good when Rex Grossman decides he wants to play...

"The Man" has the Bears giving 13.5 and the total at 34. I would definitely go with the Bears as I don't expect the Buccaneers to score much. The only question on the total is will the Buccaneers score. I think not. I would go with the Bears and the under, but no official play on this game.

Eagles @ Giants

Jeff Garcia brings the crew to the Meadowlands for a huge match-up.

"The Man" has the Giants giving 5 and the total at 43.5. I love the Giants in this game as I have not seen the Eagles D able to stop any RB...the only difference between the Giants and some of the past teams they have faced is the ability to throw the ball as well. The 5 points won't be nearly enough and I would tend to go over this total based on the Eagles ability to score with Jeff Garcia. Giants 3 Stars.

Lions @ Packers

Does anyone really care other than Dan Marino who sees his TD passes record slipping away?

"The Man" has the Packers giving 5.5 and the total at 44. I wouldn't touch this game with Anna Nicole Smith's inheritance...however, I would trend with the Pakcers and under.

Broncos @ Cardinals

Does this game scare anyone else but me? Jay Cutler has been very average. Matt Leinart is starting to gain poise. Can the Broncos possibly lose this game?

"The Man" has the Broncos giving 3 and the total at 42.5. I would not touch the total, but would trend to the under with 2 rookie QB's. I would trend to the Cardinals to keep this game within a FG based on Jay Cutler's performance to date...Broncos should win, but it will be close.

Chiefs @ Chargers

Does the death of Lamar Hunt give the Chiefs enough motivation to cover the 8.5 or win the game? In the infamous words of Borat...NOT!!! I am sorry, but I think they might be fired up to start, but that emotion will run out and talent will overcome in the long run. I like the Chargers to cover the number. I also think the 46.5 is way too small...look for a couple of selections on this game. Take the Chargers for 2 Stars and over for 2 Stars.

Rams @ Raiders

Again, does anyone care? Raiders are giving 2.5 points, which is incredulous to me. I say take the Rams and give the points. I would also go voer the small 39 points. As you know by now, I would not touch a game of this lowly stature.

Bengals @ Colts

The Colts haven't lost three in a row since 2002...and no I am not talking about a space odyssey. The Bengals meanwhile are riding a high and are on a roll. They have a tough schedule, but control their destiny.

"The Man" has the Colts giving 3.5 and the total at 54.5. Go over young man go over...both teams are going to score and score often...but no official play. I would tend to go with the Bengals getting the points based on the Colts last few weeks, but I am going against that trend and taking the Colts to cover the small 3.5, but no official play.

Dirty Boys...

I mean Birds play host to the Dallas Cowboys tomorrow night. Last night SF pulled the straight up win and the total pushed, but no plays from the gurus. This game, however, might be a little different. The high powered Dallas offense comes into this game off an embarassing loss at home to the Saints. The Boys got demolished in this game as Drew Brees threw the ball around like a seal at a circus...but with even more accuracy. Romo has been very average the last two weeks...could the league be catching up to him? The Dirty Birds meanwhile are on a two game winning streak, but the offense has still been very shaky...managing just 15 points/game in their last 6. Atlanta has the #1 rush offense, which is mostly because of the extra yards Michael Vick adds to a very good back field. However, Dunn and Norwood are both looking like they are not going to play against the #6 rush D of the Boys. So the question in this game is: which Michael Vick will show up?

The Boys are giving 3.5 on the road and the total is at 44.5. I really don't like the total, because I really wonder how Vick will do, but would trend to the over. The line on the other hand is very intriguing to me. I think the injuries to Dunn and Norwood will kill the Dirty Birds and put a serious hurting on their playoff chances. I say give the points and watch dem Boys open a can of whoop ass on the Dirty Birds. My official selection is Boys - 3.5 for 3 stars.

Week 15 Kicking Off Shortly

The gurus gained 4.3 stars this past week bringing the season total to a dismal -22.1 stars for the year. It would be near impossible to completely climb out of this hole, but we are just looking to cut the deficit. Last week overall we were 10 - 6 against the spread and 8 - 8 on the totals.

SF @ Seattle

The Hawks have had their problems on the road in the past and this year is no different. They are 3-4 on the road and coming off a fairly embarassing loss to the Cards. For their sake, I hope there truly is no place like home. It would take a mircale from them to not win their division, but teams such as the Steelers, Fins, Bills and Titans would all be in first place right now in that division. This division is a joke. The 49ers meanwhile have lost the last two games by a combined 35 points...and one of these teams was the lowly Packers. The last time these teams met Frank Gore looked like Barry Sanders rushing for over 200 yards. The Hawks run defense hasn't gotten much better since then giving up over 110 yards per game.

The Hawks are favored by 10 and the total is at 40.5. The Hawks have averaged 26 points per game and gone over the total every game since Hasselbeck has returned from his knee injury. The 49ers however have been anemic at best of late only averaging only 15...on the flip side, the Hawks have given up over 20 points in 5 straight games. I was heavily leaning toward the over as it has dropped to 38 due to heavy winds in the Seattle area. As a result of the weather, I would ultimately stay away, but would still trend to over the total and the Hawks.

Week 14 - Running Away

Some big games by some big backs and big performances by some key players under fire. Let's look at all the games as the gurus enjoyed their best week thus far with a positive 6.5 Stars thus far and hopefully more on the way.

Oakland visited the Bungles in week 14. They needed this win to continue to lead the wild card race and possibly stay within reach of the division. Rudi and Carson dominated the game, while the defense continued to play better...of course it was the Raiders...and they suck.

The Vikings kept their playoff hopes alive by beating the Cowardly Lions on the road. The irony of all ironies is that Artose Pinner killed them. He had three TD's and rushed for 125 yards against his ex-team. Why Detroit doesn't look to Josh McCown is beyond me? Kitna leads the league in turnovers with 26. As tight as the playoff races are, so is the race for Brady Quinn between Detroit and Oakland. It is going to come down to the wire.

The Ravens defense dominates again as Green kept making negative plays to kill drives...2 INT's, a lost fumble and 4 sacks. This D is good, but is the offense efficient enough to go all the way. I would love to see these guys face the Colts as it would be a classic match up. This loss puts the Ravens one step closer to the division title and the Chiefs one step closer to planning for the 2007 draft.

Dolphins continue their late season surge as their defense dominated Brady and the Pats. They sacked Brady 4 times and forced 3 fumbles. The Pats still hold a 2 game lead in their division with 3 to go, so their playoff spot is fairly secure.

The Pats were helped by the disaster tha was the J.E.T.S. Jets Jets Jets game. I guess Mangenius looked more like a man child today. They had momentum early with a 10-7 lead, but quickly went down on a long pass to Evans and a INT returned for a TD. Two huge game changing plays and playoff dimming plays for the Jets. They still have a chance as they are only one game out with an easy schedule, but nothing is "easy" for the Jets.

The Dirty Birds were down at halftime 6-0 and the playoffs were looking dim. However, the running game and defense eventually prevailed. The Bucs meanwhile looked horrible again. Gruden even went so far as replacing Bruce Gradkowski with the ever exciting Tim Rattay. I bet they wish they could get in the Brady Quinn sweepstakes.

Philly needed to win to keep up with the other 6 - 6 teams. They were up big at halftime and managed to hold on. Jeff Garcia clearly looks very comfortable in the Andy Reid version of the west coast offense. I am not sure this defense will be able hold up for the next three weeks to make the push to the playoffs. Jason Campbell did some good things and got more comfortable as the game went progressed. Putting him in was a great move for the future. Once Clinton Portis comes back next year, you know Danny Boy will buy whatever other players he needs to make them a better team.

In one of the biggest games of the week, the G-men went to Carolina to visit Jake and the Panthers. However, Weinke ended up starting and both CB's were on the sidelines for the Panthers. Weinke still managed 400+ yards of passing as the Panthers just abandoned the running game. Plax had a big game and Eli showed why they traded for him as he led them to victory.

Breaking News: The FBI has issued an amber alert...the Colts rushing defense is missing. The Colts have come back to the pack and are now in line for the #2 seed. What do you think LT would do to this D? Jones-Drew and Fred Taylor have certainly made themselves a formiddable team in the back field this year. Garrard didn't do anything spectacular, but he didn't need to.

Vince Young does it again. Comes from behind to tie the game and then wins it with a long run in OT. I am becoming a believer in this guy. Travis Henry has done a nice job of revitalizing his career as well. How much longer can the Texans go with David Carr? He has been terrible, but his line isn't much better and they have no running attack.

Luckily for them, the Hawks are in the worst division in football. I just don't understand how a Super Bowl contending team can lay such an egg at AZ. Matt leinart the last couple of weeks has been showing more confidence and showing why he should have been drafted higher.

GB @ SF: anyone care any more...the only thing of note here is Favre got closer to breaking Marino's all time TD record.

Do you think Mike Shanahan wishes he would have stuck with Jake? I don't think Jake would have made the difference, but Cutler doesn't look like a kid ready to play. He will eventually be fine, but he was not ready for the D he faced today. LT is amazing...the best overall player in football hands down.

Added play:

The Gurus are on fire this week up 6.5 Stars for the week. As such, the Cowboys -7 are going to be added for 2 Stars. I just don't see the banged up Saints team being able to hang with the healthy Cowboys on the road. I said in my earlier write-up that I liked the Boys and it is now an official selection. I want to see the Saints beat, or even keep it close, against a team with a winning record. They have only played 2 teams with winning records and lot by an average of 14 against them.

Week 14 Official picks:

G-men -1.5 over the Panthers - 4 stars
Philly/Skins under 40.5 - 2 stars
Indi/Jags under 44 - 2 stars
Seattle -3 over the Cards - 3 Stars
Bolts -7 over the Broncos - 2 stars

Take them to the bank this week folks. The gurus can't stay down forever.

Tis the Season:

Week 14 started off with a bang as the homer nailed the Steeler game for 4 stars combined on the under and the line. My only regret is that I didn't post the parlay that I played and cut the deficit even more. The deficit now stands at a negative 26.4 stars on the year. What other prognosticators would willingly admit such futility? Only the gurus ride the ups and downs of the gambling world and take the grief that comes. Lotion has been a great addition this year to the Gurus and we appreciate him giving out a pick a week for free. I have been in touch with another great prognosticator who may be making some playoff selections on the board. Negotiations are heating up to say the least. Now on to week 14:

Oak @ Cinci

Oakland has killed this guru all year. He says take them and they lay eggs. He says lay the points and they show up. Now they are on the road at the equally enigmatic Bungles. Cinci appears to have found their offense and defense of late. They have given up just over a TD / game in their last three games and have a turnover ratio of +8 during these games. Could it be the youngsters are getting more comfortable with their roles? The Raiders meanwhile laid an egg last week at home against the lowly Texans. However, they are 5-2 against the spread in their last seven games. Their defense has been keeping them in games despite their lack of O.

I know the Bungles are going to be double digit favorites at home and I know I am going to pick them and I know they won't cover and I know I will get a new arsehole torn because I keep picking heavy favorites. So what is a guru to do? Let's check the final line. The total should be in the low 40's...and I wouldn't touch the total unless it is reall out of whack.

"The Man" has Cinci giving 11 and the total at 39. I woudln't touch this game, but would lean towards the Bungles and the over.

Vikes @ Detroit

The Mediocre meet the really bad. I want to see the pictures Matt Millen has of the Ford family. You thought the gurus were futile, what about the Lions? Will this team ever get back to respectability? I have serious doubts. The good news for the Vikes is that Brooks Bollinger hurt his shoulder...therefore, the QB controversy is gone for a week. I would hate to live in one of these cities and have to watch this game.

I am guessing the Vikes are small road favorites. Their D continues to play decently, but the O is horrible. I think the Lions find a way to win this game, but if you play it than you have more problems than Anna Nicole Smith. The total should be in the mid-30's, which I wouldn't touch either.

"The Man" has Detroit giving 1.5 and the total at 39.5. I will stick with my prediction for a Lions win and under the total, but I wouldn't touch.
Baltimorons @ KC

The Ravens travel to KC after a long week after a tough road loss to the division rival Cinci Bungles. KC comes off a bad loss in Cleveland after leading by 14 in the 4th quarter. Trent Green has been OK since coming back, but not necessarily lighting it up. The Ravens are in the hunt for a bye and and home field throughout the playoffs. The Chiefs are fighting for their playoff lives. Arrowhead is a tough place to play, where the Chiefs are 5 - 1 thus far this season.

I am guessing this is a pick 'em game and the total in the mid-30's...I will wait to see the final line before making any calls here.

"The Man" has KC giving 3 and the total at 36. I like the Ravens to bounce back and wreak havoc on Trent and company. I would also tend to go under the somewhat small number...but no official plays.

NE @ Miami

Miami ended its four game winning streak by losing last week to the desperate Jaguars. There is nothing they would love more than to send the Pats home wondering where their season is heading. I look for the Fins to play this game tough, but Joey should make enough mistakes for the Pats to roll in this one.

I am guessing the Pats are small road favorites and the total around 42...the Pats and over are intriguing, but let's see the final numbers.

"The Man" has the Pats giving 3.5 and the total at 37. This total looks way too small to me. I would lean toward the more talented Pats, but would ultimately stay away from the line.

NYG @ Carolina

Chris Weinke looks like he is going to get the start in this game for the injured Jake Delhomme. Throw in an injured Nick Goings and Ken Lucas and the injuries are mounting for the Panthers...as their playoffs lives slowly start to dwindle away. The G-men will be without Petitgout, Strahan and Webster, but they are starting to get healthier. The Giants gave a good fight last week against the Cowboys and showed they aren't folding the tents just yet.

I am guessing with Weinke starting, the Giants are small road favorites and the total is around 40. The Giants are very intriguing as the Panthers just haven't been able to get anything going and now are facing some tough injuries.

"The Man" has this as a pick 'em game and the total at 38. I am very intrigued by the G-men. The under would be my call based on Weinke not starting in over four years.

Philly @ Skins

Philly travels to Washington to continue their fight towards the playoffs. The Skins have handed the reigns to Jason Campbell and it hasn't been going too bad. Philly's hopes rest on the arm of Jeff Garcia. I look for Jimmy Johnson and the defense to confuse and blitz the new starter early and often.

Philly should be a small road favorite and the total around 37. The Eagles are very interesting as they are desperate and need the win. The total could be a play as well as these NFC East matchups tend to be close tight low scoring affairs.

"The Man" has Philly giving 1 and the total at 40.5...I would lean towards Philly but ultimately wouldn't play it. The under here is very intriguing to me...

Atlanta @ TB

Well, Bruce's homecoming wasn't too friendly after all. He got beat up, but he certainly wasn't helped by 2 dropped TD's. The Bucs come into the game with a healthy 53 man roster...but I am not sure that is a good sign as they have not been very good this year. The Dirty Birds meanwhile are more up and down than elevator on speed. They play two incredible games against the Steelers and Bungles then lay eggs for four consecutive weeks. Last week they finally turned it around.

The Falcons should be favored by about a FG and the total around 38. The Birds and under could be a play...let's see the final lines.

"The Man" has Atlanta giving 3 and the total at 37.5. I ultimately would stay away from the enigmatic Dirty Birds, but would certainly lean towards them and the under.

Colts @ Jags

Could the Jags defense be getting healthier just in time to make a playoff run? Well, they better be with the Colts coming to town. The Colts will not have Dallas Clark for the game, which will hurt some of their formations and takes a valuable weapon out of Peyton's arsenal. Every time these two teams play it is a dog fight and the Jags need this to stay in the chase for the wild card. In addition, we know they don't want to see the Colts clinch again on their home field.

The Colts are probably favored by about a FG and the total around 44. I think the Jags find a way to win this one and stay alive by controlling the clock with their running game, which makes the under real intriguing. Let's see the final lines.

"The Man" has the Colts giving 1 and the total at 44. These games tend to be slugfests. The under could be a play. I would lean towards the Jags, but would ultimately stay away from the line.

TN @ Houston

The upstart Tennessee Titans come into this game playing pretty good football. Vince Young is starting to avoid mistakes and is proving to be a legit leader in the huddle. The Texans come into this game winning on the road with negative passing yards...talk about something that doesn't happen every day.

TN should be favored by about a FG and the total around 40...I wouldn't touch this game with Trump's money.

"The Man" has Houston giving 1 and the total at 42. I wouldn't touch, but I would lean towards TN and the over.

Pack @ 49ers

The Pack got smacked hard at home last week by the Jets. The 49ers ran into the buzz saw known as the Aints on this board. SF is still in the playoff hunt, but looking slimmer and slimmer by the week. GB is just terrible.

SF should be favored by about 4 and the total around 42...but I wouldn't touch this game.

"The Man" has SF giving 4 and the total at 44. I wouldn't touch this game, but would lean towards SF and the under.

Seattle @ AZ

The Hawks are getting healthy and may be peaking at just the right time. The Cards...well they suck. I like the Hawks to win this one big, but I hate the heavy road favorite.

Hawks should be favored by at least a TD and the total around 44. I wouldn't touch the line, but the over could be interesting as the Hawks start rolling and the Cards continue to worry about the 2007 draft.

"The Man" has Seattle giving 3 and the total at 45. I really like the Hawks in this one. I would lean towards the over, but would ultimately stay away. I thought this could have been a double digit line.

Denver @ SD

Jake Cutler must be wondering why Mike changed QB's. He has not given them the spark they were hoping for to push them into the post season. The Botls meanwhile continue to roll along nicely and should get another piece back on D with Castillo returning this week. Not looking good for that playoff run for the Broncos. Throw in a beat up Al Wilson and the D will need some serious help to stop LT.

The Bolts should be favored by about a TD and the total around 43. I like the Bolts a lot on anything under a TD and maybe be willing to give as many as 10. Let's see the total as the over could be a play.

"The Man" has the Bolts giving 7 and the total at 41.5. I am very intrigued by the Bolts and the over...

Bills @ Jets

J. P. still sucks. Mangini has the Jets believing they can make the run to the post season. The Jets manhandled the Packers while the Bills were keeping it close with the Bolts at home. I like what Mangini is getting out of his team and how Chad is managing the game.

The Jets should be favored by about 7 and the total around 42. Let's check the final lines before we go any further on this one.

"The Man" has the Jets giving 3.5 and the total at 37. I would lean toward the Jets and the over here, but probably would ultimately stay away. Buying the half point to ensure a 3 point game would be intriguing...

Aints @ Dallas

Romo continues to roll and the Boys are on fire. The Aints seem to have no problem with the bad teams, but can't seem to get it rolling against the good ones. A win here helps either team tremendously on their quest for a bye and getting closer to a playoff spot. The Aints haven't beaten a team with a winning record all year. Their 4 losses are all to teams with winning records except the Steelers.

The Cowboys should be favored by about 9 and the total around 45. I am very intrigued by the Boys and maybe the over. We shall see what the final lines are first.

"The Man" has the Boys giving 7 and the total at 48. I would lean toward the Boys and the under, but wouldn't touch either as of now...although the injuries to Horn and Colston make the Boys an interesting pick.

Bears @ Rams

The Rams have been terrible as of late with a bad loss last week to the Cards at home. I guess Orlando Pace is that important. The Rams might have a chance this week as the Vikes were able to run all over the Bears after Tommie Harris left the game. The Bears meanwhile continue to stick with Rex, but I think the leash is getting shorter. Rumor is that Griese got more reps in practice this week than he has the past several, which should add to Rex's pressure. I think these guys will bring the heat on Marc Bulger and add to his sack total which currently ranks 3rd in the NFL.

The Bears should be favored by abotu a TD and the total around 39. The greatest show on turf isn't what it used to be and the Rams have been bad since Pace is gone. The under could be a play if the total is still indicative of the "Greatest Show on Turf" Rams.

"The Man" has the Bears giving 6 and the total at 41. I am really liking this under as the Bears will bring it and contain the show. I also like the Bears, but wouldn't make them an official pick.

Brownies @ Pittsburgh

The first week of the game is almost upon us and the snow is whipping around more than my dominatrix. Maybe a few more whips to my head would get us out of the -30.8 stars that we stand on the year. The full write up for the week will be coming in the next day or so, but let's get to tonight's action. The Brownies come into this game with Derek Anderson most likely making the start. This is usually where I pull out my Charlie Frye sucks joke, but he is most likely not playing. Cleveland is near the bottom in almost every offensive category. The Steelers come in as a top 10 defense, but without their two starting safeties. On offense, they don't have their 2 top wideouts. Could all this spell trouble for the Defending Super Bowl Champion Pittsburgh Steelers? Not so fast my friend.

The field at Heinz Field will be a mess. This means you will need to be able to run the ball to win this game...check for the Steelers on both sides of the ball. Derek Anderson gets his first NFL start against on the road at Heinz field on a miserable night...check Steelers. Cedrick Wilson is out...check Steelers. The Steelers are favored by 7 and the total at 34.5. I think this game is ugly and plays out just like last week against TB...tight to the vest and the Steelers emerging late. Give the points and go under the total. These guys will be lucky to be able to walk on Heinz Field by the end of the night let alone run, which I think benefits the Steelers.

I am picking the Steelers -7 for 2 Stars and the under for 2 stars. Now someone please tell me why I am wrong...

Week 13

Saints -7 for 2 stars
Over Saints 44.5 for 4 stars

In the words of Bill Cohwer...pitiful!!!

Yes, the Gurus are struggling this year. After a big Turkey Day, they came back to a mess. Overall, we are down 28.4 Stars...now that takes cajones to put in writing and keep this torture up. However, everyone knows there are ups and downs in gambling and you need to ride the ship slow and steady. Last week we would have been 9-7 against the line on every game and 8-8 on totals, but we only count the rated plays here. I need to get to church to repent for my lost soul, so the write-up is going to be very brief today.

Vikes @ Bears

Rex is talking trash and the Vikes don't like it. I am not sure it matters. Vikes are getting 9 and the total is at 34. I woudln't touch either line, but would tend to go with the Bears as the Vikes are not a good offensive team and these are the games the Bears usually romp in. I also would tend to go over the small number.

Bucs @ Steelers

The Steelers are favored again and are giving a TD. Ward is out. Does this team have any heart left? I think they do...and MR. Gradkowski won't like the pierogies beign served at home after this one. The line is Pitt by 7 and the total at 40.5. I would lean toward the Steelers and under the number, but no official play.

Cards @ Rams

Rams are giving 6.5 and the total is at 47. The Rams have not been very good on O as of late and have edged the powerhouse 49ers and got shutout against the Panthers. I am not sure they should be giving anyone 6.5 points. Ultimately, I would go with the Cards and the under, but no play here.

Colts @ Titans

We might be able to remember these Titans after all...at least I know Jeremy, Tom, Plax and company will. The Colts are on a roll and giving 7.5 and the total at 46.5. The last time these teams met in Indi the gurus got bit by Vince and company. I would go with the Colts and the over, but ultimately no play is the sound move.

Jags @ Fins

The Jags have struggled on the road this year going 1-4. The Fins continue their mid season comeback. It is a pick em game and the total at 35.5. I would ultimately go with the more talented Jags and the under, but nothing to get me too excited.

49ers @ Saints

The story continues in New Orleans. They beat bad teams and lose to good teams. They are giving 7 to an upstart 49ers offense and the total is 45.5. I think Drew and company get it done...I would go with the Aints and the over...I smell a play here.

Dirty Birds @ Skins

Jason Campbell era has begun. Looks for things to continue as the Birds are a mess. Skins are giving 1 and the total at 38.5. No play, but would tend to go with Skins and under.

KC @ Cleve

Cleveland still sucks. Give the 5 and go under the small 35.5, but no official play here.

Lions @ Pats

These are the games the Pats dominate...but 13.5? I would give the points and go over the 41.5...but nothing official.

SD @ Bills

JP still sucks. Merriman is coming back. Look for the Bolts to continue the roll and cover the 6. Also, go under the 42.5...but nothing official.

NYJ @ Pack

Pick em game between two enigmas. I woudln't touch this game, but would tend to go with the Pack at home and under the 42.

Boys @ G-men

G-men are a mess, but winning this game solves everything. Don't think it will happen as Romo rolls again. No official selection, but would tend to go with the Boys giving 3.5 and over the 44.

Texans @ Oak

Oakland is giving 3 points...that ought to tell you how bad the Texans are. Don't touch this game for any reason, but would tend to go with the Raiders and the under 35.5

Hawks @ Broncos

The Jay Cutler era begins. Does he provide the same spark Romo has for the Boys? I want to see it first. Stay away for a week, but would tend to go with the Hawks getting 4 and under the total of 40.

Panthers @ Philly

No faith in either team here...tend to go with the Panthers giving three and under the 37.5, but nothing official.