Here's hoping week 17 is sweeter than 16...the early edition

The Gurus had their worst week of the year in week 16. We couldn't have hit a bull's ass with a handful of rice it was so bad. Our annual total stands at a negative 34.3 stars...completely wiping away the 31.6 stars of yesteryear. However, we will never throw in the towel...this is the only thing that gets me away from my wife and job. It is time I call out the noticably absent GuruJoe. He used to travel for work and this was his leisure activity, but now that he is home his wife can't keep her hands off him.......NOT!!! Therefore, I am blaming GuruJoe for our failing this year as he hasn't been seen in weeks on these boards. Lotion and GuruBob keep plugging away trying to fill the void. Lotion keeps filling your wallets while I keep making shit in the infamous words of Borat. Well, on to week 17:

Steelers @ Bengals

My Defending Super Bowl Champion Pittsburgh Steelers travel to the much hated Bengals in hopes of reaching 8 - 8...and keeping the Bengals from making the post season. Is this Cowher's last game? Do the Steelers have any pride left? Will the Bengals stay out of jail long enough to play the game? Bengals have a chance to slip in and have everything to play for. This goes to my philosophy on tonight's game...desperation vs. pride...desperation usually wins.

"The Man" has the Bengals giving 6 and the total at 44. I wouldn't touch the line, but would trend to the Steelers, although I think the Bengals win the game outright. I really liked the over until I saw the weather forecast of 80% chance of rain...trend over regardless, but check back for a potential play during pre-game.

Lions @ Cowboys

The Cowardly Lions take their show on the road for the final week to the heart of Texas to face the Cowboys...BREAKING NEWS: The Lions have been eliminated from the playoffs. They have managed to keep some of their recent games close...but they still stink. The Cowboys meanwhile have been the most underachieving playoff bound team of late. They got hammered by the Eagles last week...I guess they are sick of playing on holidays and decided to boycott that game on Christmas day. Dallas needs to win and then hope Atlanta can knock off the Eagles and still clinch the division.

"The Man" has Dallas giving 13 and the total at 44. I love Dallas in this game, but will ultimately learn my lesson and stay away from the large number. The over is really intriguing to me as Detroit still has a couple of weapons that might be able to score...Let's go over this total with a 3 star selection. Dallas has given up an average of 28 points the last 4 weeks and the Lions can't stop anyone.

Browns @ Texans

The Browns lost by 15 to the Bucs...Texans beat the Colts, who were fighting for a bye. Enough said on this pillow fight...oh yeah, Ken Dorsey is starting for the Browns...now enough is said about this one.

"The Man" has the Texans giving 5 and the total at 37.5. I wouldn't touch this game with all the money in Jenna Jamison's G-string, but would lean towards the Texans and the under...I guess.

Jaguars @ Chiefs

Both teams need a miracle to make the playoffs, but you never know in the way the league has gone thus far this year. Jaguars only give up 86 yards per game on the ground...meanwhile the Chiefs rush for 160 at home per game. Something has to give. Trent Green has been very average since his return, but don't look for Huard to get on the field even if Green continues to struggle.

"The Man" has the Chiefs giving 2 and the total at 37. I would stay away from the game, but would ultimately lean towards the Chiefs at home and the under. Arrowhead is a tough place to play and the Jaguars struggle on the road. Both teams will want to run and run often, so that should keep the scoring and possessions down.

Rams @ Vikings

The Rams take the greatest show on turf on the road for the final game of the year to Minnesota. Rams come in winning 2 in a row, while the Vikings have lost 2 in a row. Jackson appears to be starting again for the Vikings. Marc Bulger still has no one to block for him.

"The Man" has the Rams giving 2.5 and the total at 43. Stay away from this pillow fight, but I would trend toward the Vikings at home and the under. I am switching this to the Rams due to secondary changes for the Vikings.

Panthers @ Saints

Jake Dlehomme appears ready to come back in this meaningless game to the Saints. The Panthers weren't faring to well with Jake in there before he got injured...and they fared even worse without him. The Saints meanwhile have nothing to play for. The question is how long with Payton let his starters play. Other than their defeat to the Redskins a couple of weeks ago, the Saints have been awesome. I can't see Payton risking injury beyond the first half in this one.

"The Man" started out giving the Panthers 3 and it has now gone the other way when Jake Delhomme was announced as the starter. The Panthers have been eliminated by the Giants victory Saturday night. I am going to take the points in this one as the Panthers are coming in on a down note. I will also go over the 38...but no official plays. Late added play here...take the Panthers -2 for 4 stars as the Saints are going to be sitting most starters.

Raiders @ Jets

The Raiders suck in case you didn't know. Chad Pennington meanwhile continues to play with heart and leading the J.E.T.S Jets Jets Jets. The Jets need this win to make the playoffs. The Raiders have nothing to play for and are full of self-helping players.

"The Man" has the Jets giving 11.5 and the total at 34. I think the Jets win, but the Oakland D and bad weather should be enough for them to cover. I really like the under if the weather is as bad as advertised. I can't see either team reaching the 20's in this one. Check back tomorrow around game to see if this is an added play once we see the weather. Staying away today.

Seahawks @ Buccaneers

The Seahwaks need to right the ship heading into the playoffs. The Buccaneers have nothing to play for. I think the Seahawks will be playing to end the losing streak.

"The Man" has the Buccaneers favored by 3 and the total at 37. I have to take the points and assume Mike Holgren keeps his guys playing until the game is wrapped up. Rattay looked good last week, but remember that was the Browns. Seahawks should win outright based on talent, therfore take the points as well. I would ultimately go over the total, but I think it is dead on. Stay away...unlike GuruJoe's wife lately. I am also adding the Seahawks +3 as a 3 star play. Holmgren has stated that the starters are going to play the whole game as expectecd.

Patriots @ Titans

The Patriots have been an achilles heel for me all year. The Patriots need this win less than the Titans as they are most likely locked into the 4th seed unless something really weird like the Ravens and Colts both lose. The Titans have a miracle shot left in them to make the playoffs. They have been playing pretty good ball lately as Vince continues to get more comfortable every week.

"The Man" has the Titans favored by 3 and the total at 41.5. I am really torn on this game because I wonder what Sweatshirt Bill will do. I assume he will play as if it is possible he could get the #2 seed. Therefore, I gotta take the points. The over is very intriguing to me, but would ultimately let this game go as there are plenty of other nuggets on the board.