Week 13 - Kicks off tonight

Balt @ Cinci

The Ravens come into their matchup looking to clinch the AFC North title with a win again the Bungles. They have averaged almost 27 points a game since the Fossil was let go and McNair has got this team talking Super Bowl. Bungles come into this one after dominating the Browns on the road and beating the Aints convincingly in New Orleans. The forecast is for rain on and off all night and some of the dreaded wintry mix is approaching fast.

Cinci is giving 3 and the total at 40.5. There is no official play tonight, but I think the Ravens establish their dominance of the North with a big win. Based on weather, I would anticipate a low scoring close to the vest game and thus go under the total. Of course, we all saw the bad weather in Seattle have no affect on scoring. Ravens and under, but nothing official.

Official Week 12 Selections Continued

Hopefully, our turkey hangover is behind us and we build on the nice Turkey Day.

Carolina -4 over the Skins for 4 Stars
Colts - 9 over the Eagles for 3 Stars
Jaguars - 3 over Just Punt and the Bills for 2 Stars
Bolts - 13.5 over the Raiders for 2 Stars

Turkey is gone...now it's business time

We have a very abbreviated write-up this week due to the holiday. I will stick with the normal program of telling you who I like then deal with the real lines and final picks will be done tomorrow morning as is the normal course of business with the Gurus. We had a very productive turkey day picking up 5 stars and there are more nuggets out there for this week:

Cinci @ Cleve

Cleveland found a way to lose last week against my Steelers and still sucks. Cinci found their offense again in NO and has been impressive of late. Cinci should be favored by about 4 and the total around 42. I may surprise a few people and tell you that I think I would take the points in this one and go over. Frye hasn't been horrible lately and Cinci is beat up all over the place. They should be able to cause some TO's on defense, but Cleveland has enough to stay close. I think both teams will score some. No play here, but we will see what the final line is by "The Man".

"The Man" has Cinci giving 3 and the total at 42.5...no play is the only play on this game...

Jax @ Buffalo

Jags come in with the reigns being handed to Garrard and Byron on IR. They beat the ever living crap out of the G-men. However, the Jags tend to play to their competition and we know where we think the Bills and JP fit on that list. JP still sucks, but at least he figured out that throwing it up to Lee Evans is a good idea. I am guessing the Jags will be favored by about 6 on the road and the total around 38. I would tend to go with the Jags and the under, but probably no official play unless the final line is out of whack.

"The Man" has the Jags giving 3 and the total at 35. I wouldn't touch the total as I said, but the Jags are very intriguing to me...GuruJoe?

Pitt @ Ravens

Ray Lewis looks to get back on the field and play against the Ravens hated rivals...my Defending Super Bowl Champion Pittsburgh Steelers. The Steelers only shot at the playoffs is to win out. I fear this week could be their killer. The Ravens come in playing tough D and jsut enough on offense. The Steelers handed the Browns 3 INT's and one of them was returned for a TD, but they had a miraculous comeback to hold on in Cleveland. Ravens should be favored by about a FG and the total around 38. I would stay away from this game, but if forced I hate to say that I would go with the Baltimorons and the under.

"The Man" has the Ravens giving 3 and the total at 38.5...my mind hasn't changed much.

NO @ Atlanta

The Aints come off a big loss to he Bungles where Brees threw for 510 yards, but three very important INT's (one of which returned for a TD and another in the red zone. Atlanta comes off a beating at the Ravens and 3 bad games in a row. Vick comes into the game under some heat after the last three games, in which he didn't match Drew's week 11 performance combined. Maybe the Aints D, or lack thereof, is just what the doctor ordered. I am guessing Atlanta is a small home favorite and the total around 45. I would tend to lean toward Atlanta, but wouldn't play the line. The over could be intriguing depending on the final total...look for a play of anything over 45 a strong possibility.

"The Man" has the Dirty Birds giving 3 and the total at 47.5. I wouldn't touch the line, but the total seems low...the Aints are scoring a bunch and the Falcons are giving up a bunch...however, Abraham is back and is a difference maker. He might be just enough for me to stay away.

Carolina @ Skins

Jason Campbell didn't look bad at TB, but certainly didn't light the world on fire. Carolina did a very serviceable job in beating the Rams at home. I look to the Carolina D-line to be the difference again. Carolina should be favored by about 6 on the road and the total around 36. I would tend to go with Carolina and the under. My official play would be Carolina if the line is less than a TD.

"The Man" has Carolina giving 4 and the total at 36. Carolina hasn't been lighting it up lately, however, neither has the Skins. Jason Campbell is now the QB. Portis is gone for the year. I like their chances in this one. Carolina will be a play. I wouldn't touch the total.

SF @ Rams

SF surprised some people by beating the Hawks at home. They come into this game winning three in a row after the beat down handed them by the Bears 4 weeks ago, although none to impressive with them coming against the mediocre Vikes, the Cowardly Lions, and the beat up Hawks. The Rams come into this game losing 5 games in a row and had previously lost in SF. The Rams will move Steussie to left tackle and plug someone in at left guard as they try to plug the hole left by Orlando Pace's injury. I am guessing the Rams are very small home favorites and the total around 42...I would stay away from this game with the Rams recent injuries. If forced, I would pick SF and the over, but I would like to see the Rams adjust to life after Pace before making a play.

"The Man" has the Rams giving 5 and the total at 45. I would stay away as I said before, but both these lines look to large to me.

AZ @ Vikes

Pillow fight of the week...AZ sucks...Vikes have gone from mediocre to sucking. The line should be Vikes favored by about 4 and the total around 36. I would stay away from this game, but would lean towards Vikes and under as their D should get it done. Remember I said stay away though.

"The Man" has the Vikes giving 6.5 and the total at 39. Don't touch...

Houston @ NYJ

Houston sucks...they come in off a bad home loss to the Bills. NYJ hung tough with the Bears, but couldn't muster an offense. Which incompetent offense will score more? I say the J.E.T.S JETS JETS JETS. I am guessing they are favored by about 4 and the total around 37. I wouldn't touch this game any more than my wife wants to touch me. I would lean towards the Jets and the under, but stay away.

"The Man" has the Jets giving 5 and the total at 40...doesn't look like anything has changed my mind here.

Oakland @ SD

Oakland is actually playing tough D, but they have not seen an offense like this since week 1 when the Bolts clobbered them 27-0 at home. You know what we think of Oakland. More importantly in this one is what we think of SD. SD is good...and may be the best team in the AFC. Their D is still weakened by Merriman still suspended and Castillo most likely out. However, have we mentioned that Oakland sucks lately. SD should be favored by about 12 - 14 and the total around 44. Anything under 2 TD's would intrigue me with the Bolts, but I would stay away from the total...favoring the under, but not making a play.

"The Man" has SD giving 13.5 and the total at 43. I am liking the Bolts as they are rolling...GuruJoe?

Chicago @ NE

Ricky Manning, Jr. is suspended. Eugene Wilson and Samuel appear to be out. Sweatshirt Bill is a mastermind of taking other teams' successes against various players and implementing a similar game plan. I am guessing he will do the same this week adn pressure Rex into some mistakes. NE should be favored by about 4 and the total around 42. I would ultimately stay away, but would lean towards NE and the under.

"The Man" has NE giving 3 and the total at 37.5...stay away as I said before...

G-men @ TN

G-men continue to be beat up and now travel to face a team that has been playing tough. They have lost two in a row and almost lost at home to Houston. Eli is playing more like Archie would now than his older brother. He looks like a deer in headlights at times. G-men should be small road favorites and the total around 40. I wouldn't touch a G-men's game with those injuries, but if forced I would go with the G-men on anything under a FG and TN anything over and I would lean toward the over.

"The Man" has G-men giving 3 and the total at 44...don't play this game as there are plenty of other nuggets out there.

Philly @ Indi

I am guessing the Sunday night would like to change again. Without McNabb, the Eagles are done...finished...caput...TN killed them after McNabb went out and went on to win big...and this is a pissed off Colts team coming in after losing on the road. Indi should be favored by about 14 and the total around 46. I would be very intrigued by the Colts on any line less than 14. I would tend to go under the total, but wouldn't touch until we see what else the Eagles can do without McNabb.

"The Man" has Indi giving 9 and the total at 44. I am really liking the Colts to rebound nicely this week...GuruJoe?

GB @ Seattle

GB comes to Seattle after an embarassing home loss to the Pats. Seattle meanwhile gets Hasselbeck back and Shaun without the rust. What better way to get warmed up than to face a weak Packers D? Seattle should be favored by about 9 and the total around 43. I would stay away for a weeek to see the Hawks play with all its parts in tact.

"The Man" has Seattle giving 8.5 and the total at 45...nothing here has changed my mind...

Stuff your wallets in addition to your turkey

The Gurus are wishing all of you a Happy Thanksgiving...and here are your picks for the week...at least the first set of games:

Dallas - 11 vs. the Bucs - Romo and the Boys are primed while the Bucs lose their defensive leader in Simeon Rice for the year. Look for a huge win by the Boys. 3 Stars

Under 39 in the Broncos/Chiefs - 2 teams that love to run the ball and can play D...short game and short drives. 2 Stars.

Week 12 - This is Bradshaw's number...that has to be a good omen right?

Only three games to analyze as of now, but more will be coming later in the week. Last week we managed to lose another 4.9 stars. This is the longest dry streak since, well we got married...we have given "The Man" 27.6 of the 29 Stars we won last year back. Although, we have been riding Lotion hard all year and added a few plays of our own in college for a positive year. Here is your analysis of the T-giving Day games...

Miami @ Detroit

Joey is coming to Thanksgiving Day dinner this year...I am not sure he will be welcomed with open arms. The Cowardly Lions are beat up and not playing well. The Fins come off 3 wins in a row...no thanks to Joey. Their D has been playing phenomenal and making plays.

I am guessing the Fins are small road favorites and the total around 38. I wouldn't touch this game with your wallet. If I had to play this game, I would go with Detroit and the under. Never bet against Detroit at home on Turkey Day.

"The Man" has the Fins giving 2.5 and the total at 39...nothing has changed my mind...

TB @ Dallas

Dallas come into this game after a very impressive win over the Colts. They boast the 4th ranked rush D and the 3rd ranked socring offense. None of this is good news for the Bucs as the only thing they attempt to do is run the ball and their D wreaks of mediocrity. Romo has been very impressive thus far and I see no reason that shouldn't continue this week.

I am guessing the Boys will be favored by about 9 and the total in the high 30's. Dallas at home on Thanksgiving is always intriuguing...and this year is no different. I am not convinced the Bucs will score in this game.

"The Man" has Dallas giving 11 and the total at 39...I can't see TB keeping this one close...I like the Boys at home...the under is intriguing, but I would ultimately stay away...I don't see Bucs scoring more than a cheap late TD...this will be a 24 - 7 type game as the Boys will just control the clock similar to the Cards game two weeks ago.

Denver @ KC

I don't think Mike and the Broncos will be very happy coming into this game after blowing a 24 - 7 lead. Fans and media are calling for the Jay Cutler era to begin. KC comes in after a very unimpressive win against the Raiders and a loss to the Fins. LJ is still putting up big numbers. I am not sure the running of LJ and throwing only when absolutely necessary will cut it against this D...but LT sure looked good last week. I keep telling you that Arrowhead is a tough place to play and the short week always favors the home team.

I am guessing the Chiefs are a small home favorite and the total around 39. I would not play the line as who knows which Jake or which KC team will show up. If forced, I would take the Chiefs. The under might be a play as both teams will want to run the ball and control the clock.

"The Man" has the Broncos giving 1 and the total at 38.5. The total started at 39.5 and has come down a full point...I am still intrigued by this under as two running teams will make for an exciting first game on the NFL Network...NOT!!!!

Week Eleven Official Picks

No big write-up as you have seen it in the others:

Your 3rd 5 STAR pick of the year - Pittsburgh Steelers -3.5
Over 49 Indi/Cowboys - 4 Stars
Over 38 Bears/Jets - 3 Stars
Over 44.5 GB/Pats - 2 Stars - Eugene Wilson and Asaunte Samuel are out.

Here is hoping to a big guru week.

Lotion soothing the Gurus Pain

I have been in contact with Lotion today and he has made his official pick. Unfortunately, I don't have a clever write-up for his pick, but I can assure you to stick with the program as it is the only way to make money...

Arizona State -5.5 over the UCLA Bruins...

It is a shame to beat up the academies...

However, we need to get to a BCS game. Here are the Big Kansan's thoughts for this weekend:

Prediction Time:
Pretty short and sweet this week. The Caissons are definitely not rolling along this year. Army has one of the worst all around defenses in all of college football. They simply do not have anyone to defend our receivers. They played Texas A&M tough in College Station, but don't look for a scare like that this weekend. Texas A&M relies on the run, ND does not.

.Army does not run a true triple option team. They dabble. Too bad for them, because Rick Minter would let them get a ton of yards on us if they ran option.
ND rolls in Brady Quinn's last home game.

ND: 45 Army: 14

I hope week 11 leads us to heaven...

Basically hoping week 11 is like week 7 is that we need to get back to the positive side and start cutting the deficit. If you don’t believe in the Gurus, then take your chances on the other side and see how your year ends up. I am going to add a little something to this week’s write-up and that is tell you my leaning on each side and line…then come back with picks later in the week.

Rams @ Carolina

Rams come off another rough loss to division rival Seattle and also manage to lose their starting left tackle and CB for the year. Wow, which hurts more, the loss or the injuries? Carolina meanwhile was booed at halftime, but came back to have an impressive second half and defeat the Bucs easily. Julius Peppers is a man among boys on the field…as he harassed poor Bruce Gradkowski almost every play. The offensive line of both teams have been playing terrible, so dare I say that is more to Carolina’s advantage than the Rams with their DL and now Orlando Pace gone…Marc Bulger will become very acquainted with Mr. Peppers.

I am guessing the Panthers are favored by about 4 or 5 and the total around 42. I would ultimately stay away from this game regardless. However, if forced to play this game, I would go with the Panthers and the over. My only concern is the Panthers can’t run the ball, which is the Rams weakness on D, but with Fisher out in the defensive backfield I am sure Mr. Smith should get some opportunities.

“The Man” has Carolina giving 6.5 and the total at 45…my mind hasn’t changed any. If Carolina had been more impressive lately, then I would be jumping on them especially with Pace and Fisher gone.

Skins @ TB

This is one of three pillow fights on the schedule this week. Clinton Portis breaks his hand, so the Skins change QB’s. Jason Campbell must be wondering who he pissed off to get thrown to the lions den…actually more like walking the plank…without his top weapon. Grad meanwhile has the Bucs offense running as smooth as a Hummer with no shocks on block wheels. On the other side of the ball, neither the Bucs nor the Skins D is imposing fears on opposing offenses.

I am guessing that TB would be a small favorite to pick ‘em game and the total around 39. This clearly is a stay away game as who knows what Jason will be able to do without Portis…we know Grad can’t do much. If I had a gun to my head, my inclination would be to take the Bucs and the under with the Bucs’ young QB having more real game experience.

“The Man” has the Bucs giving 3 and the total at 33.5. The game started as a pick ‘em, but the line has climbed to three. I guess more people have faith in the rookie who has played than the guy getting his first start. This is still stay away. The total looks really low, but with two young QB’s there could be a lot of stalled drives. I would trend to the over this small a number, but would still stay away.

Bungles @ NO

Cinci comes into this game still beat up and giving up a huge lead at home to the Bolts. The Aints played a tough game in Pittsburgh, but ultimately the Gurus and the Steelers were victorious. Cinci found its offense last week putting up 41 points…and still managed to lose the game. Carson had a key fumble late in the game to help the Bolts to victory. I have been telling you all year the Bungles were not going to be able to survive all those injuries and this game epitomized it. The Aints continue to play with heart and could have won the game at Heinz field last week. The Aints come into this game with the #1 passing offense against the 28th ranked pass D of the Bungles. This to me is the key stat. The Bungles made a living last year on the INT and they are not getting them as often this year.

NO should be favored by about 3 and the total around 45. I can’t say that I would like this line, but the over would be very intriguing to me. NO has averaged almost 28 points per game over their last 4 games and the Bungles are putting up over 26 per game over the same time period. Let’s see the final lines and total.

“The Man” has the Aints giving 3 and the total at 51.5. I would not touch either of these lines, but if forced to play I would go with the Aints and the over. This number is just too high to bet over it.

TN @ Philly

Jimmy Johnson must be wondering what to do here. We know he loves to blitz and usually his team does a good job, but they must contain against the Young one named Vince. TN has been playing better lately, if you can ignore the Jags game two weeks ago. Vince has been playing pretty much as expected…low completion percentage, but making a few plays with his legs. I am going to guess that Johnson keeps him guessing this week. Philly meanwhile comes into the game after beating up on the Skins and still having the #1 ranked offense.

Philly should be favored by about 10 or 11 and the total around 38. Titans have been playing just well enough to scare me away from any number over 10. If forced, I would ultimately go under if it is at the 38 because who knows how much TN will score. TN has given up 3 TD’s or less only twice all year…one of them against the Colts and the other against the Fins. Philly would be the most intriguing play for me.

“The Man” has Philly giving 13 and the total at 43. Both numbers are too high for this guru. I would tend to go under the total and Philly if forced, but neither will be an official play.

Chicago @ NYJ

Chicago makes their second trip in two weeks back to the Meadowlands to face the J.E.T.S. Jets Jets Jets. Chicago was having a hard time finding their offensive rhythm on Sunday night until Thomas Jones broke a long run on a 3-22 and they scored 4 plays later. It seems most teams are trying to copy the blueprint on how to beat the Bears from the Cards, which is to blitz Rex and blitz him often. Chicago is the #1 rated D facing the 25th ranked O of the J.E.T.S. Jets Jets Jets. The J.E.T.S. Jets Jets Jets come off a huge win at NE this past weekend. It was an ugly game with bad weather, but the J.E.T.S. Jets Jets Jets proved their meddle and took down the giant of the division. This win keeps the J.E.T.S. Jets Jets Jets right in the middle of the playoff race. I am not so sure Chad will have the same success this week.

I am guessing Chicago is favored by at least a TD and maybe as high as 10. The total should be in the high 30’s as the Bears should be able to score on the lowly J.E.T.S. Jets Jets Jets D. I would definitely be interested in Chicago in anything under a TD. I would bet over as the Bears could put up 30 like they have in more than half their games thus far, but would stay away.

“The Man” has Chicago giving 7 and the total at 38. The over and the Bears are both intriguing to me. Chicago has gone over the total in each of the last 6 games. NYJ had gone over five games in a row before the last two…one of which was against Cleveland and the other in the slopfest that caused the Pats to change their playing surface. If the Bears handled the more talented G-men like that, what will they do to the J.E.T.S. Jets Jets Jets.

MN @ Miami

Talk about two teams going in opposite directions. Miami comes off two wins against KC and Chicago. MN meanwhile come into this game off two losses to GB and SF…ouch…that will hurt your playoff chances. This game will put 2 top ten defenses against two very average offenses. Joey has been throwing to the other team as often as Elton John makes passes at bartenders, while Old Man Johnson is wishing he qualified for Medicare now. I would rather watch the world championship of midget tossing over this game any day of the week.

I am guessing based on the last two games by each team that Miami is favored by about 4 and the total around 34. Ultimately, this line would have to be way off for me to look at it further, but I would tend to take Miami as they are coming on strong…after virtually being eliminated from the playoffs. The under could be very intriguing depending on the final line as neither team has an offense and their D’s are solid.

“The Man” has Miami giving 3 and the total at 33.5. Can you really bet under a number this low? I am intrigued GuruJoe…

Oakland @ KC

Trent Green gets back to action as the old school coach, Herm Edwards, does not believe in his stars losing their jobs because of injury…I only wonder how short the leash will be. I can tell you right now that I hate this game. A QB coming back after not playing for 9 weeks will either come out on fire to get his team back or have lots of rust. I tend to think it will be the first part, but you never know. The Oakland D meanwhile continues to impress…it is a shame the offense ahs no playbook…or heart…or sense of caring. Rumors are swirling that Brooks might take back the helm after Walter bashed the playbook. I don’t think it matters, but Brooks might be able to gun it to Moss a few times.

KC should be favored by about 9 and the total around 40. You all know by now that I think Oakland sucks. I would tend to lean toward the Chiefs, but would stay away due to Green’s inactivity. As for the total, I would be intrigued by anything under 40, but I bet it comes in closer to 37, which is just high enough to scare me away. The under would be the play if there was one.

“The Man” has KC giving 9.5 and the total at 36.5. Enough said above…stay away, but that under is still calling my name…

NE @ GB

The Pats come into this game losing two in a row for the first time since 2004. Brett Favre is starting to believe he can make a run and has cut down on the INT’s. If there is a more up and down team than the Pack let me know…beat MN on the road…after losing to Buffalo…which came after beating AZ and Miami…which came after losing a close at home to the Rams. GB’s biggest problem is defending the pass…and now they face a very mad Tom Brady. It should be interesting. The only good news for the Pack and Favre is the Pats have been vulnerable to the pass all year yielding over 220 yards per game…and this is against teams that have an average of the 21st best pass offenses in the league. Does Favre have any magic left?

The Pats will be favored by about a TD and the total around 43. I think Favre’s magic will come to an end this week and their playoff dreams will be shattered. I would ultimately stay away from the line unless NE is favored by less than a TD. The over is most intriguing as I think this could be a shootout on the frozen tundra.

“The Man” has the Pats giving 6 and the total at 44.5. GuruJoe, how many times have we been bitten by a Favre over this year? The over and Pats are both real intriguing to me. The Pats can’t lose three in a row, right? So the question is can they win by less than 6…I don’t think. GuruJoe I need your help here.

Pittsburgh @ Cleveland

I refuse to call any game the Steelers are involved with a pillow fight, so this is not the second one mentioned above. Browns suck, even if they do have the same record as the Defending Super Bowl Champion Pittsburgh Steelers. This game like all others will come down to the Steelers ability to protect the ball. I think they win this one easily, but a few brain farts by Big Ben and the Brownies could emerge victorious. The most glaring stat for this game is the putrid Cleveland offense and the two hurt CB’s.

Pittsburgh should be favored by about 7 and the total around 39. I would be very interested in the Steelers if the line is less than a TD, but any more and I have to stay away. Ultimately, I think there is a better chance of Pittsburgh winning big than Cleveland keeping close. I would stay away from the total no matter what it is as the Steelers could score 30 themselves or get bit by the turnover bug.

“The Man” has the Steelers giving 3 and the total at 37. I think the over will hit, but it won’t be an official play…you can’t bet Charlie Frye will score anything…however, this pass D might be just what he needs. I am very intrigued by the Steelers…I originally thought this line could be as high as 9 until I started looking a little more. This number looks way too small to me.

The Dirty Birds @ Baltimorons

Well, maybe the Michael Vick show isn’t all it was built up to be. After two career games against the Steelers and Bungles, Vick has gone back to the good ole days. He has completed just 45% of his passes and thrown 4 INT’s the past two games. On the flip side, he has had 154 rushing yards the past two weeks. Which Michael Vick will show up this week…I know Atlanta is hoping for the one from the 2 earlier games. The Ravens meanwhile come into this game after coming back from a 26 – 7 deficit against the Titans…yes I said Titans. The Ravens displayed no heart early, but were able to come back and pull out the victory. The Ravens offense has been on a roll averaging almost 30 points a game since BB fired The Fossil and took over the play calling. This game has the #1 rushing offense facing the #2 rushing defense. The Ravens are most likely going to be without Ray Lewis who is having some back problems. I don’t see that it will matter much as the Ravens have decent depth at LB and the Dirty Birds rushing numbers clearly are skewed because of Vick.

I am guessing that the Baltimorons are favored by about a TD and the total in the upper 30’s. The way their offense has been scoring and without Ray Lewis, the over might be the most intriguing play here. The Falcons have given up almost 28 points per game the last five weeks and the D is still beat up. I like the Ravens as well, but I think the over might be the better play.

“The Man” has the Batlimorons giving 4 and the total at 40.5. I think this number is too small on the line and total. GuruJoe, am I nuts picking an over of a Ravens game? They have gone over 4 games in row…The Ravens might also be a play, GuruJoe talk me out of it.

Buffalo @ Houston

Do you believe that someone actually has to watch this game? I feel bad for the NFL Network guy who has to report on this game. This is the second pillow fight of the weekend. Just Punt gets hit more times than a heroin addicts veins. Maybe Mario Williams can have his break out game…if he can’t do it this week, then they best be worried. The Texans come into this game on a little roll having beat the Jags twice and keeping games close against the G-men in recent weeks. The Bills were on the verge last week of being down 14 – 3 at half until a game changing fumble returned for a TD made it tied at 10.

I am guessing the Texans will be favored by about 4 and the total in the mid-30’s. There is no way I play this game. However, if I was forced into making a call like that smile George W. has to fake after losing the house and senate because of his ineptness (or voters stupidity), I would lean toward the Texans and the under. If you play this one, then I have a bridge in Brooklyn I want to sell you.

“The Man” has Houston giving 2.5 and the total at 36.5.

Detroit @ AZ

The third and final pillow fight has the Cowardly Lions coming off a horrendous home loss to the 49ers visiting the AZ Cardinals. The Cards look like a team that has quit on their coach. They haven’t scored more than 3 TD’s since the almost upset of the Bears…and since then they have played the Boys, Packers and Raiders.

I am guessing AZ is a small home favorite and the total in the low 40’s. Sticking with the new write-up I will say the Cards actually win and cover one and I would go over the total. However, I would not recommend anyone play this game.

“The Man” has AZ giving 2 and the total at 44.5. Like my wife says on a regular basis…please don’t touch.

Seattle @ SF

SF is in the hunt in the NFC for the wild card spot. They have played decent the last two weeks, but the competition has been the Lions and Vikes…and you know what we think of these teams. Shaun Alexander may return for this game and that should help boost their rushing attack against the somewhat soft 18th rush D of the 49ers. Seneca is most likely going to start again and he has done an admirable job against the Rams, Raiders, and Chiefs going 2 – 1…there isn’t a person in Seattle that would be upset with that.

I am guessing the Hawks will be favored by about 3 and the total around 40. Are the 49ers for real after two wins against bad teams? I am not sold on that yet. Let’s see the final line and total. If I am correct, I would tend to stick with Seneca and go over, but let’s see the final line. I doubt this will be a play this week.

“The Man” has Seattle giving 3.5 and the total at 44.5. I stick with my leaning, but would ultimately stay away.

Colts @ Boys

The undefeated Indi Colts come to Texas for a showdown against the Cowboys. The Colts slid by a bad Bills team last week after having two impressive road victories against the Bucking Mules (Broncos) and the Pats. The Boys come into this game off a bye week…what’s that?...They played last week?...Yeah, but it was only AZ…as I was saying, they come into this week off a bye week. The last good team Dallas beat was the ’95 Steelers in the Super Bowl…and we got robbed by the refs…ok, just kidding. They beat Carolina handily in week 8. However, the rest of their wins this year include: Skins, TN, Houston, and AZ…their losses include a tight one against the Jags to open the year, Philly on Drew’s mistakes, Peyton’s little brother manhandling them, and the Skins on a blocked FG. What does all this tell us? Peyton is better than his little brother, so by the transitive property of football the Colts win easily.

In the infamous words of Lee Corso, not so fast my friend. The Boys have a tough D, but clearly have been susceptible to the long pass…I did say Peyton was coming to town didn’t I? I hate to tell Griese and friends, but this might be the year…they don’t pop the champagne. I know the Colts are vulnerable on D against the run, but as long as they stay within one possession, I have no doubt Peyton will take them on a winning drive. I think the Colts should be a small road favorite and the total around 50. I wouldn’t touch the line, but think the Colts prevail. The over could be a play, but I am guessing it might even be higher. I would go over anything less than 48.

“The Man” has the Colts giving 1 and the total at 49…the over is still intriguing to me here…GuruJoe any chance both these teams don’t score in the high 20’s?

Bolts @ Mules

I mean Broncos…The Bolts come off a miraculous comeback against the Bungles. The Broncos slid by the Raiders again…bastards killed my added play. The Bolts D was non-existent last week without Castillo and Merriman…luckily they play the conservative Mike Shanahan this week. The Broncos are averaging 17 points a game, but had been better with two consecutive 31 point games in a row before last week. The Bolts meanwhile are averaging 33 points per game. Are you ready for another shootout? I think that the game starts slow and conservative and then both teams start opening up. The Broncos should be able to run on the depleted Bolts D and Jake just needs to not throw the game away…but that is asking a lot of him.

I think the Broncos should be favored by about 2 and the total in the high 30’s. I think the Mules get it done at home and cover this one, but it would not be an official play. The over could be depending on where it comes out.

“The Man” has the Mules giving 2.5 and the total at 42. I am still looking at this game and thinking the over should hit fairly easily, but then again I thought the Mules would kill Oakland after Mike’s trash talking. GuruJoe?

NYG @ Jags

The G-men come into this game decimated on the defensive side of the ball…Tuck, Strahan, Madison are out…Osi, Short, Emmons are beat up…the offensive side of the ball is starting to take their hits…Luke is out…Toomer was hurt before last week…Barber is probable. The Jags come off an embarrassing loss at home to the Texans in which Garrard threw 4 INT’s. The Jags D should come out ticked off and ready to make some plays…the question is whether the offense will as well.

I think the Jags should be favored by about 4 or 5 and the total in the mid-30’s. I would stay away from the game in general due to all the injuries on both sides of the ball for both teams. I would lean towards the Jags and under, but neither will be an official play unless the line is way off.

“The Man” has the Jags giving 3.5 and the total at 39.5. Nothing has changed from my analysis above…

You think there were a lot of injuries last week...

Well look at our record and you will see even more bloodletting. The Gurus had a second straight negative 10 star week bringing out season total to negative 22.7 stars...who else includes all the juice with their records? Well, we felt good about the picks, but they didn't come through. Here is the week that was, or was not depending on how you want to look at it:

I, of course, will start in my home town where the Defending Super Bowl Champion Pittsburgh Steelers defeated the Aints of New Orleans. Big Ben looked good...Willie Parker showed signs of greatness...but most importantly, they didn't turn the ball over once. The Aints did so three times. The only real shocker about this game was Fast Willie getting caught twice from behind on long runs.

Reggie Bush is going to be good if used in the right way. I personally think Payton is using him perfectly.

The Fins are going to go on their end of the season run to keep themselves out of the playoffs and out of a high draft pick. Make no mistakes about, this game was won by their solid D. Joey continues to struggle.

KC meanwhile just hurt their playoff chances a little with a bad road loss. Which KC team will step up next week?

In case you didn't know...LT is good. He is the best all around back and probably player in the NFL right now...hands down. I liked Rivers' poise as he brought the team back.

The Bungles on the other hand take a major blow to their playoff chances and their egos. Does Housh know where he is yet do you think? Carson looked good, but the fumble cost his team the game...if one play can cost a team a game.

Two weeks ago, Michael Vick was the next coming of John Elway with his scrambling ability and strong arm. Now let's just say he ain't that good...isn't it funny how the Gurus ups and downs have coincided with Vick's...hmmmm.

Cleveland still sucks.

Don't look now, but the 49ers are in the wild card spot race in the NFC...that just depresses me more. I am sure they will fall eventually, but let's give them credit with a quality win against the Vikes at home and then going cross country to lay the smack down on the cowardly Lions...by the way they aren't so good.

The biggest disappointment of the game is the Colts holding on to win by a point against the Bills. The Colts could easily have lost this game as Lindell missed a 40+ yard FG in teh 4th quarter. The Colts gave this game away at the end of the first half when Utecht fumbled and the Bills recovered and returned it for a TD to go in at half tied at 10 rather than down 13 - 3 at a minimum. Huge momentum changer there, but Just Punt kept killing drives and eventually the better team won.

Favre wins one in a dome...miracles never cease...maybe MN is...shall we say...mediocre?

The biggest upset has to be the J.E.T.S. Jets Jets Jets going to NE and winning. I know it was ugly and the field was a mess, but NE is supposed to be the better team with a strong running attack. Chad and crew just took it to the Pats. Give credit to their D, they ran run blitz after run blitz and dared Brady to beat them through the air on a miserable day...and it worked. Would anyone else agree that maybe Young Eric out-coached the genius sweatshirt?

The Skins laid an egg and now are moving on to Jason Campbell. Portis broke his hand and is now out indefinitely. Wonder if Joe misses the race cars...you can't hear the boos because of the engines...

The Texans showed the Jags they are for real...well against them at least. They win their second game this season against the Jags. Someone please explain this one to me, because I don't see it. I see a tough D that should manhandle a soft offense, yet the Texans took it to them again. Jags now fighting hard for a playoff start. Garrard will remain the starter because Byron looks more injured than first thought. However, once he gets healthy, there will be a full-fledged QB controversy down there.

Just when you think Jake Plummer has it all going, he has to throw 3 picks and ruin my added play. Is it possible the Raiders pass D is really not that bad? I always thought it was so good because teams were always up and could run. Don't look now, but the heartless Aaron Brooks might be back after Andrew Walter ripped his offensive playbook. I am sure that will help.

Josh Brown does it again...nailing a last minute FG to give the Hawks the lead and control of the division. Alexander and Hasselbeck are also getting closer to returning...looks like they will be in the middle of the playoff picture once again...The Horned Goats (Rams that is) meanwhile may have killed their chances at a post season berth. They certainly aren't out of it, but 5 - 4 would look much better.

Romo makes no mistakes and the Boys hammer the Cards...do you think Edge misses Indi YET? The Cards are bad and not showing much sign of improvement. At least Leinart is getting his valuable experience.

Which Guru told you the Bears would feast on the depleted DL...while it was close early and certainly was in question, the injuries were just too much to overcome for the G-men...not to mention two game changing plays like the Jones run and the missed FG run back.

I honestly could not stay awake and watch that game last night...I guess ity must have gotten a little better after the half. Grad is looking like a rookie...of course, Mr. Peppers has that effect on many players. Can someone please tell me what is wrong with Delhomme? He has been less than impressive. I know his O-line is beat up, but when he does have time he is missing guys or not finding them.

Infirmary report:

Long list today with a bunch of significant ones...Portis out at least 3 weeks with a broken hand. David Givens returns just in time to tear his ACL. Joe Cullen lost his clothes - you have to read the article about him getting caught driving under the influence naked... http://sports.espn.go.com/nfl/news/story?id=2661708 ...Tony Gonzo is out at least one week and maybe up to 3 or 4 with a sprained shoulder. Luke Petitgout breaks his fibula for the G-men...ob Whitfield will step in for him. Patrick Kerney may be out for the year with a torn pectoral muscle...this hurts an already weak run defense. Greg Ellis tears his achilles and is gone for the year. Houston will place defensive tackle Travis Johnson, offensive tackle Zach Wiegert and cornerback Lewis Sanders all on injured reserve...they may have won this battle, but the war ain't looking so good. Orlando Pace is gone with a torn tricep...this will hurt a very avergae O-line. Finally, Troy Polamalu might miss teh game in Cleveland with a concussion.

Added play:

The Denver Broncos easily win in Oakland...Denver minus the 9 for 3 Stars.

Your final Week 10 picks

Here are the key selections for today:

Indi - 12 - your second 5 Star pick of the year. We are not fooled by the Bills win last week against GB.

KC +1.5 - Miami still shouldn't be giving points - 2.5 stars

Jags - 10 - 2.5 stars - Jags will avenge the loss from a couple weeks back...the D is rolling and Garrard has the team believing

Skins/Philly under 42 - have you seen the weather map? This is a late add due to the rain and wind - 2 Stars

The 10th week is no time for the meek...

Well, week 9 wasn’t the best week for the Gurus, but we plow forward. We haven’t been this negative since the Republicans lost control of the house. Trust the Gurus will come back from one horrendous week…because we will.

Week 10 is the beginning of the second half…remember this game goes three deep into the payoffs…I fully believe the Gurus will be positive at the end of the day as they have been the last three years. Here we go with week 10…to show we are real men. I am starting a new trend…I will give you my preference on every game. Sunday morning, we will give you our weekly picks…if you are lucky, we will get them done by Saturday night.

NYJ @ NE

The J.E.T.S. Jets Jets Jets travels to the Pats. The Pats come off a loss against the Colts in which Brady threw an inexplicable 4 INT’s and no TD’s…do you think they might be mad? The J.E.T.S. Jets Jets Jets comes into this game with the 30th ranked rush defense and faces a pissed off Tom Brady…that can’t be good for them. The only positive I can think of is they come off a bye week.

The Pats should be favored by about 9 and the total at 38…at home in week 2, the J.E.T.S. Jets Jets Jets made a huge comeback to make this a game…I don’t see that this week…let’s see the final line and total.

“The Man” has the Pats giving 10.5 and the total at 38…you would think that I write these lines myself. I hate that extra .5 point, but the NYJ rush D is horrible. They were lucky to get back into the game earlier in the year and this game is in Foxboro. GuruJoe, do you think Tom might be mad after last week’s loss? The over is intriguing here as well…NE puts up points on bad teams.

Skins @ Philly

The Skins come off a miraculous victory against the Cowboys. The Eagles come off a bye during which Westbrook says his knee improved dramatically. The Eagles come into this game with the top ranked offense facing the 30th ranked D. The Eagles certainly didn’t look good against the Jags, but many offenses seem to be affected by that D.

I am guessing Philly is favored by about 6 and the total at 37…I am very intrigued by the Eagles at home, but let’s see the final line.

“The Man” has Philly giving 7 and the total at 42. The Skins were lucky to win last week and the Eagles are coming off the bye…but I just can’t get that Jags game out of my mind…GuruJoe, do the Skins have a chance?

Cleveland @ Atlanta

Cleveland D meet the #1 rushing offense…in case you weren’t aware, your D is only 29th against the run. Vick had a down game against the Lions after two great games. They won’t need him to pass against the Brownies…of course, the Atlanta D hasn’t been too stellar lately giving up an average of over 30 points the past 4 games.

Atlanta has to be favored by about a TD and the total around 42…based on the Browns showing at SD last week and the Black Birds showing at Detroit, this has to be a stay away game.

“The Man” has the Dirty birds giving 8 and the total at 42…no line value here for this guru, although I still think Cleveland sucks.

KC @ Miami

The Fins shocked this Guru last week in beating up the Bears on the road. They did it the old Dolphins way, with D and the rushing attack. Ronnie Brown looked great carrying the load with 29 carries and gaining 157 yards. KC meanwhile just keeps rolling along with an impressive victory at the high-powered Rams. Damon Huard keeps getting it done and we all know what LJ can do.

KC should be favored by about 5 and the total in the low 40’s. I am not a believer in Joey after one game…KC might be a play here…let’s see the final line.

“The Man” has the Fins giving 1.5 and the total at 40.5…I think the oddsmakers are remembering one game too much and all the preseason hype…GuruJoe, talk me out of the Chiefs getting a point…I dare you…

GB @ MN

Favre reverted back to throwing TD’s to the other team last week and the Pack Attack lost on the road to the lowly Bills. MN meanwhile went well below the level of mediocrity by losing on the road at SF. I believe it was right here that mentioned this could be a trap game for the Vikes. We all know Brett’s futility in domes over the years and I can’t see that being any different against the tough Vikes D. The MN offense isn’t lighting the world on fire, but maybe the Pack D is just what the doctor ordered.

MN should be favored by about 4 and the total in the mid-30’s. MN has been fairly strong at home…aside from the Pats game…they took the Bears to the limit, beat Carolina and a bad Lions team…I think the Vikes win this one easily, but mediocrity is always scary.

“The Man” has the Vikes giving 5.5 and the total at 40…this total looks way too high to me…the Vikes D has been solid all year and their O has been less than stellar…GuruJoe, am I nuts going with this under?

SF @ Detroit

SF comes to visit the cowardly Lions after their big home win against the Vikes…if it is possible for a 3-5 team to have a big win. If their win was big, then the Lions win was just as good at home against the Dirty Birds. The only real advantage I see in this game is the Lions pass offense against the weak SF pass D…no other stat really stands out.

Detroit is probably favored by about 5 with the total coming in the low 40’s. Last week I took the over between two bad teams and got bit (GB@ Buffalo)…is this Guru dumb enough to do that again? Maybe…let’s see what the total is.

“The Man” has the Lions giving 6 and the total at 46…this total is too high to go over…

Buffallo @ Indi

In the first mismatch of the week, the Just Punt led Bills come to the Colts who are on a roll. They come home after two great victories in Denver and NE. Buffalo comes to town with a mid-tier D and a less than stellar O. The Colts have averaged over 32 points per game against Denver, Pats, and Skins…Do you think Peyton is licking his chops at the thought of tasting a Buffalo?

Indi should be favored by at least 2 TD’s and the total at 45…with McGahee the Bills have zero chance. I like the Colts on any line less than 14. I would have gone over, but without McGahee, who knows if the Bills can score.

“The Man” has the Colts giving 12 and the total at 44…I find this line hard to believe…I really thought it would end up around 16 – 17…the Bills suck. GuruJoe, is there any chance the Colts lay an egg this week after two huge victories? I don’t think so…I like Peyton to keep rolling.

Baltimore @ TN

Tennessee welcomes back a familiar face when Steve McNair and his boot come to town. Tennessee comes off a big time butt whipping at the hands of the Jags. They face a very similar D this week in the Ravens…and I don’t think it will matter if Ray Lewis suits up or not. They have superior talent across the board on both sides of the ball…and don’t you think McBoot will be fired up after the way he was treated after all those good years?

The Ravens should be favored by about a TD and the total in the mid-30’s. The Ravens could be an interesting play, but I will wait for the final line. I wouldn’t touch the total, because who knows if TN will score at all…last week their only score was in junk time.

“The Man” has the Ravens giving 7 and the total at 38…ultimately, I would stay away from a road favorite with a questionable offense…but I am definitely intrigued.

Houston @ Jags

The schedule makers were nice to the Jags…back to back games at this point in the season against the likes of the Titans and the Texans. Garrard was impressive in his second start and will remain the starter for the foreseeable future. The Texans gave the G-men a run for their money as well as the Titans the week before. Do you think the Jags remember 3 weeks ago when they were embarrassed by the Texans? I do…revenge is sweet.

Jags should be favored by about 10 and the total in the high 30’s. Anything less than 10 and the Jags are a play. I would stay away from the total.

“The Man” has the Jags giving 10 and the total at 37…I am still really liking the Jags…GuruJoe, talk to me here…was that game in the Meadowlands last week enough to scare you away?

SD @ Cinci

The AFC North Defending Champs come limping into yet another game. The OL is still beat up. The D is in even worth shape. Lucky for them, Castillo and Merrimen will not be on the defensive side of the ball for the Bolts. Unfortunately, they are healthy on the offensive side of the ball.

I think SD should be a slight favorite or it should be a pick ‘em game. The total should be in the mid-40’s with both defenses depleted and both O’s able to put up points…let’s see the final lines in this one.

“The Man” has SD giving 1 and the total at 48…ultimately too close to like this one…

Denver @ Oakland

Oakland sucks…plain and simple. Last time these guys met Jake had 102 yards on merely 18 attempts. They played not to lose by running it and running it often. The Raiders are terrible on offense…and that may be insulting other terrible offenses.

The Broncos should be favored by 17, but the line will be about 12 because of their last meeting. The total will be in the mid-30’s. Can the Broncos really win this game by less than 2 TD’s…their O has certainly taken off since their last meeting averaging almost 27 points since then…let’s see where the final lines comes in…I wouldn’t touch the total as the Raiders shouldn’t score at all…the under would be most intriguing.

“The Man” has Denver giving 9 and the total at 33…I can’t see this being less than a 10 point game…Oakland truly sucks…GuruJoe?

Dallas @ AZ

Matt Leinart is still looking for his first win. They come off their bye week and should be primed to face the Boys. The Boys come off a sloppy loss against the Skins. Without out Fitzgerald, they haven’t been able to score more than 24 points. There offense has sunk to 27th in the league. This does not bode well when you are facing the #5 D in the league. This is another game that should be dominated by Boys, but will they live up to the hype.

The Boys should be favored by about 7 and would win this at home by 14 easily. However, the Cards are coming off a bye and get Fitz back…that is just enough for me to stay away. The total will probably be in the high 30’s…the over would be most intriguing, but you can’t make that call with a team as impotent as the Cards on O lately.

“The Man” has the Boys giving 6 and the total is 43…I would lean towards the Boys and over, but ultimately stay away from this game.

St. Louis @ Seattle

The Rams go to the rainy state after a disappointing home loss against the Chiefs. The good news for the Rams is that they almost beat the Hawks at home 4 weeks ago with Hasselbeck and many other starters in there. The Hawks are beat up. Seneca hasn’t looked horrible, but the pressure to score will be a little greater this game. St. Louis brings the 4th ranked pass offense to face the 27th ranked pass D. Can Seneca pull another one off?

I am guessing the Hawks will be a small home favorite and the total in the mid-40’s. Emotional divisional game with lots of injuries on one side of the ball…this all leads to a no play unless the line is whacked out like Anna Nicole.

“The Man” has the Hawks giving 3 and the total at 43…I would tend to go with the Rams and the over, but ultimately a stay away game with Seneca in there.

Aints @ Pittsburgh

My boys, the Defending Super Bowl Champion Pittsburgh Steelers, keep handing the ball to the other team and not so coincidentally losing. They have the 5th ranked pass offense, which we all know is not Steeler football. However, they are dead last in turnover ratio with a minus 11. The Aints come to town with a balanced offensive attack and a D playing better than expected.

I know the Steelers are favored by about 5 and the total is probably around 43. The Steelers shouldn’t be giving anyone 5 points, but if they don’t turn the ball over, then could easily win this game by more than 5. The over could be a play here…let’s check it out.

“The Man” has the Steelers giving 5.5 and the total at 46…the Aints have gone over in 5 of their 7 games and the Steelers have gone over any game in which they face a decent Offense save the SD game…ultimately, this is a little too high for my liking…

Bears @ NYG

The biggest game of the week has the Bears licking their wounds and heading to the Big Apple. They have had an up and down couple weeks…barely beating the Cards on the road…smashing the 49ers…then getting beat badly for the first time by the Fins. NYG meanwhile keeps rolling along, although last week was closer than anyone would like. Plax is talking smack. The G-men defense is about as healthy as a leper colony…not what you want when you are playing the game that could be for home field throughout the playoffs.

NYG should be small favorites and the total in the mid-30’s. With all those injuries on the Giants D, it would be tough to go with them.

“The Man” has the G-men giving 1 and the total at 37.5…I would trend under here and the Bears, but the defensive injuries are what would keep me away from this game…too many game time decisions.

TB @ Carolina

Carolina comes into this game disappointing their fans after the Super Bowl hopes have been laid upon them. Their O has been struggling lately. Their D was unable to take advantage of a green Tony Romo. The Bucs meanwhile come into this game after getting butt pirated by the Aints. Grad is being praised by Gruden, but their talent just isn’t what it used to be.

Carolina should be favored by about 7 and the total around 37. I like the Panthers in this one, but I have liked them often this year and been burnt…let’s see the final line.

“The Man” has Carolina giving 9.5 and the total at 37. Earlier this year, the Panthers won by 2 in Tampa…there is enough film out there on Grad now and he has certainly been less than impressive since…GuruJoe, should we jump off the Carolina bandwagon that we have been on? That one win ATS is what has me wondering.

Mid-Season Awards

MVP/Offensive Player of the Year: Big Ben is officially eliminated from this list…so we will go with Peyton Manning. His team is undefeated and he clearly is the leader of that team. Honorable Mention: LJ, LT and Brady…I would have Steve Smith here if they were still undefeated with him playing, but they lost two very winnable games the last two weeks to knock him out.

Defensive MVP: Champ Bailey…he is the best shut down corner in the NFL on the best scoring defense in the league…and no I am not saying this because of last week’s game. He cuts the field in half and takes out the opposing team’s best WR. Honorable Mention: Shawn Merrimen.

Coach of the Year: Sean Payton – he has brought the NO up in practically all statistical areas including the most important one…wins. He brought Brees in to lead his team. He has been magnificent in using Reggie and Deuce. Honorable Mention: Herm Edwards for bringing that Defense back to respectability and handling the Green injury. Marty Schottenheimer for his handling of Philip Rivers and making that team believe in him.

Worst Coach of the Year – Nick Saban – Daunte should never have seen the field until he was healthier and now the season is gone. Honorable Mention: Dare I say Bill Cohwer?

Comeback Player of the Year: Ray Lewis – he is once again leading a great defense. He only played in 6 games last year and they looked lost without his leadership. Honorable Mention: Damon Huard – wasn’t he in the QB graveyard?...I am pretty sure you have to have been somewhere though to be the comeback player.

Best Coaching Move of the Year: Naming Tony Romo the starter in Dallas…the statue of Drew was getting killed. Honorable Mention: Jack Del Rio putting Garrard in at QB...this still needs some time to prove out. Putting Matt Leinart in at QB – the Cards aren’t going anywhere and now he is getting valuable experience.

Worst Coaching Move of the Year: Putting Tony Romo in to start the second half against the G-men…this seems contradictory to the above, but it is not. He did not have the proper preparation to be thrown to the wolves like that. Honorable Mention: Playing Big Ben against Oakland one week removed from a concussion…that has to be the reason the Steelers lost that game and all hope. Starting Daunte Culpepper at the beginning of the year when he wasn’t healthy – I can’t give the same guy two awards can I?

Surprise of the Year: This one is a tie for me with Damon Huard and Philip Rivers…both have been very good and playing above expectations.

Best Offseason Move of the Year: The Aints taking a chance on Drew Brees…he has that offense in the top 10 and the folks around him believing. Honorable mention: I personally think there are a lot of good ones but here are a couple of others: KC signing Damon Huard to be their back up. SD not resigning Brees and handing the reigns to Rivers. Ravens getting Steve McNair.

Worst Offseason Move of the Year: Houston drafting Mario Williams – he has been a non-factor for most of the year and they missed out on a talent like Reggie Bush. Honorable Mention: The Pats refusing to sign Deion Branch even though they had plenty of room under the cap. The Seahawks giving all that money to Nate Burleson (their 4th WR when they are healthy) instead of Steve Hutchinson. Raiders signing Aaron Brooks – he wasn’t very good on a bad NO team…what made you think he would be any good on a bad Raiders team?

Talk about a kick to the groin

No, I am not talking about Brayton's kick of Jeramy Stevens. I am talking about the kick to the Gurus in week nine. I guess instead of it being all mine, it was more like here take all mine. I personally was shocked at this past weekend. About the only thing I predicted right last week was the Vikes being in a trap game, but it was not an official play. So now we stand at a negative 10.4 stars on the year after taking an unusual amount of games last week.

Here are some of the highlights from last week's action:

The only thing worse than our picks is the realization that the Defending Super Bowl Champion Pittsburgh Steelers are out of it this year. Big Ben looks timid...Max Starks couldn't block Brittany Spears...our corners cover less than Britt's outfits...Joey does more kicking - and whining - then he does sacking.

Do you think the Broncos miss Ahsley Lelie or is Javon fitting in okay?

Someone please explain how the Falcons can lay an egg in Detroit? I guess those weapons have finally started to gel in Detroit...too bad it may lead to another 6 - 10 season.

I guess history can repeat itself...Fins go into Chicago and knock off an undefeated Bears team...at least there are some people happy in south Florida. Will the Fins make another late season run and become the darling pick in 2007?

Rex will make some mistakes, but in the end the Bears will be there.

The Baltimorons proved they are the class of the AFC North with their dismantiling of Carson and the Bungles. I personally think it was right here where you heard the Bungles were more likely to be a 9 - 7 team than an 11 - 5 division winning team. The offensive line is a mess...the defense is a mess...and I am pretty sure someone is due to be arrested again soon.

The end of the Cowboys and Indians game looked a little like the old games we used to play in the neighborhood...a bunch of kids running around out of control...what an ending...BTW, TO needs to shut up now that he has had several key drops...

I am really liking the Aints...just as a feel good story...it is going to be tough to root against them this Sunday at Heinz field.

Can someone please tell me what happened to KC when they came to Heinz field? They have looked like worldbeaters since then...Damon freaking Huard is second in the league in QB rating...

G-men clearly were looking ahead to this week...I hope...although the DL is beat up...should be a good game...

Any team want to give up a 1st round choice for Byron...I think he may be available...Garrard is going to be the man going forward. The controversy is on...

Cleveland still sucks...and Oakland still swallows...I know that is not nice...but it is true...although I still can't believe the Bolts had a little trouble with them.

The Pats vs. Colts game was phenomenal as advertised...Brady had some unlucky bounces on that night or all the undefeated teams would have been beaten. I told you never to give Peyton 3 points...unfortunately, the other nuggets were more like cow pucks than gold...

Look for another exciting week 10 to cut into the deficit...

Who doesn't like the nine?

At a positive 7.2 stars on the year, we look to a nice card for week nine. We have six selections today, which is more than normal. However, if you look at the analysis, these were the only games even considered. Trust me when I tell you a huge week is upon us.

GB/Bills over of 40.5 - 4 Stars...I couldn't believe this wasn't at least 5 points higher...this will be settled by halftime.

Chicago - 13.5 over the Fins - 4 Stars...I will continue to ride the Bears until they prove me wrong.

NYG - 13 over the Texans - 3 Stars...the line value here comes from Sage's second half performance and the G-men implementing a conservative gameplan against the Bucs last week. The Bucs D is a lot tougher than the Texans.

SD - 12.5 over the Brownies - 3 Stars...Browns suck...nothing more to say.

KC/Rams over 48 - 2 Stars...this game will be like the Rams vs. Seattle game or SD @ KC...easily over 50 on this total.

Atlanta/Detroit over 46.5 - 2 Stars...the Lions should be able to use that offensive talent to put up some points on the Falcons weak D and I have no idea how they can stop Vick and company.

Week nine is all mine...

Week Nine is upon us and the Gurus keep the winning streak alive. We were up .4 stars this past week bringing the season total to a positive 7.2 stars. Throw in Lotion’s incredible 8 – 2 record and we all know you are making money on the gridiron_gurus. Now onto this week’s action…

Atlanta @ Detroit

Hot Lanta comes to Detroit riding a couple of big games by Vick through the air. Has he possibly found the pocket to his liking? Used to making more plays with his legs than arm, Vick is making a believer out of this Guru as well as some of the national experts. The defense has not been playing exceptionally well, giving up roughly 31 points in each of the last three games. Detroit has some playmakers on offense in Kitna, Jones, and Williams. Their lone win came at home against a bad Buffalo team. It is hard to believe that you can’t spell Detroit without a D, because this team doesn’t is definitely missing the D. They are 25th overall and next to last in scoring D.

Atlanta is coming off impressive wins against the Steelers and at Cinci. I am guessing they are favored by about 6 and the total in the mid-40’s. The line will probably be big enough to scare me away, but the over might be a play…let’s see what “The Man” has to say…I like over anything under 45.

“The Man” has Atlanta giving the Cowardly Lions 5.5 and the total at 46.5…the over is real intriguing as both teams should be scoring…Atlanta should score 30…can the Lions put up at least 17 on the weak Hot Lanta D? GuruJoe, what do you think here?

Cinci @ Baltimorons

The Morons are coming off a nice road win and have control of the AFC North. This is a huge game as the Bungles will either end up tied with the Morons or they will end up 2 games behind with a loss against them. The Cinci offense may have gotten back on track last week…or could it be the bad Atlanta D. The Bungles come in with the 18th ranked offense facing the 3rd defense in the league. I think they may learn quickly that the difference between the Falcons and Morons D.

I am guessing the Ravens are a small home favorite (2 – 3) and the total at 39. I don’t see an advantage in either of these lines, but let’s see what the final margins are. Ultimately, an important divisional game usually leads me to staying away.

“The Man” has the Morons giving 3 and the total at 41.5…this total looks a little high, but there is certainly enough other nuggets out there with greater value.

Dallas @ Skins

I actually heard a national “expert” compare Tony Romo to Brett Favre. Talk about jumping on a bandwagon. I don’t think one game makes him a hero, but he certainly looked good. The Skins meanwhile are coming off a bye week, but are likely going to be missing Moss…and Brunell and Portis are banged up. This can’t be good for a mid-tier offense facing the 4th best D. On the other side of the ball, the Skins have been struggling and Boys seem to be clicking with Romo after one game.

I am not jumping two feet first onto the Romo bandwagon, but I think Dallas should be about a 5 point favorite and the total in the low 40’s. I am very intrigued by the Boys as I think the Skins suck, but after a bye week, I would ultimately stay away from the line. The total might be an under play…the NFC East tends to play much more conservative against each other and Gibbs will want to pound the ball.

“The Man” has the Boys giving 3 and the total at 41. Again, this total looks a little high to me. They have had one game get in the 40’s in the last 3 years…but the over have hit in 5 of 7 games played by Dallas and 4 of 7 by the Skins…can’t go against that.

GB @ Bills

The pillow fight of the week will be taking place in Buffalo. Donald Driver thinks the Pack Attack is back and they can make a run. They come into this game on a two game winning streak…against Miami and AZ. Their 3 wins this year have come against teams with a combined 3 – 19 record. During these games, they have averaged over 30 points. However, they have also given up almost 21 points in each of these games. So, these trends looks like GB will beat up the bad teams and then lose to the good ones…where would you rank Buffalo? If you need help, maybe learning that their offense is near the bottom and the defense in the middle of the pack will convince you they suck. I haven’t even mentioned they are lead by “Just Punt”, who continues to struggle.

I am guessing GB is a small road favorite and the total in the mid-40’s. You all know by now that we don’t often play bad teams facing other bad teams…the over might be the call…each of GB’s 3 games against the bad teams have gone over. In addition, Woodson is listed as questionable…that can’t help a weak secondary.

“The Man” has the Bills giving 3 and the total at 40.5. I think the Pack should win the game, so I would take the points if someone had a gun to my head, but ultimately I would stay away from the line. I still like the over as GB will score in the high 20’s and that means it won’t need many points to reach this total.

Houston @ NYG

David Carr gets benched and Sage moves the offense. NYG meanwhile continues to roll doing whatever it needs to do to win. Last week’s game against TB is a typical example…get the lead and then pound the ball, play field position football, and force the other team to make a play. TB couldn’t do it. Does anyone out there have more faith in the Texans than the Bucs? After an impressive win over a beat up Jags team, the Texans laid an egg against the weak Titans.

NYG will be a huge favorite at home ranging from 10 – 12 points (or more). The total should be in the high 30’s. The G-men are very intriguing to me…but I would stay away from the total. G-men have won 4 straight against the spread and I am not about to go against that trend…let’s see what the final line is, but anything under 14 is a play.

“The Man” has the G-men giving 13 and the total at 43. The G-men have won 4 in a row against the spread and continue to beat up on teams at home. I don’t like the total, but I am riding the G train until it stops rolling.

KC @ St. Louis

Damon Huard has been fairly impressive other than the Pittsburgh debacle averaging over 30 points in their last 4 victories. LJ has been finding his stride, clearly being helped by Huard’s solid play. Their game plan will be to pound LJ against the 27th ranked rush D to keep the potent offense of the Rams on the sidelines. The Rams score almost 30 points per game at home as opposed to less than 20 on the road.

Ultimately, I think the Rams will be favored by about a TD and the total in the high 40’s. I think the line is a toss up. The over could be a play here depending on “The Man”…I would definitely go over anything lower than 45 and probably up to 50. There is no chance both teams don’t score in the high 20’s.

“The Man” has the Rams giving 2.5 and the total at 48…KC has gone over the last 5 games and the Rams have gone over in 3 of their last 4…I can’t go against these trends..can I GuruJoe? Stay away from the line.

Fins @ Bears

I am not getting off the Bears bandwagon until they give me a reason to. The Fins suck. They have lost to the likes of GB, NYJ, Houston and the Bills. They have the 29th ranked scoring offense facing the #1 defense…tough year for Nick and crew.

Bears will be favored by at least 14 and the total in the high 30’s. I am staying on the Bears bandwagon as long as the line is less than 14…if it is less than 17 then GuruJoe and I will have serious talks.

“The Man” has the Bear giving 13.5 and the total at 37.5. Miami has not beaten the spread once this year…I will never buck that trend. GuruJoe can’t even talk me out of this one…check back tomorrow for the official plays.

Aints @ Bucs

Well, we can still call them the Aints. I was ready to jump on the bandwagon, but it was one week too early. They were really hurt by two key turnovers created by a solid Baltimoron D. The Bucs meanwhile still can’t get the offense going. The Bucs got manhandled by a superior Giants team last week after two shocking wins against the Bungles and Eagles. TB has the worst scoring offense, but luckily has found their D. The Aints D exceeded most people’s expectations, but has faltered lately. They have given up an average of 25 points over the last 4 games. What better cure for a struggling D than the worst scoring offense?

I am guessing NO will be a small road favorite and the total around 40. The under could intrigue me depending on what “The Man” set it at.

“The Man” has the Aints giving 1 and the total at 38…too many other golden nuggets to waste any more energy on this crapshoot.

TN @ Jags

David Garrard in and Byron to the bench. The Jags D is still beaten up, but they managed to clip the Eagles wings last week after being embarrassed by the Texans. Will the real Jaguars please step forward? TN meanwhile is on a little roll winning 2 in a row scoring at least 25 in the two victories. Vince isn’t lighting it up, but he is not making huge mistakes and is making some plays with his legs. Is it possible these guys don’t suck that bad? NOOOO…they still suck. These two wins were against the Skins and Texans…a combined record of 4 – 10.

The Jags should be favored by about a TD and the total in the mid-30’s. I wouldn’t touch this game unless my only other choice was to attend a Boy George concert.

“The Man” has the Jags giving 9.5 and the total at 37.5…again stay away from this game…

MN @ SF

MN got pummeled on MNF. GuruJoe has nailed this team more often than Hef a Playboy bunny. He has said all season that these guys are mediocre. He tried to talk me into the MNF game last week, but I would not violate one of my rules of picking a MNF road favorite. SF meanwhile comes off their thumping by the Bears. It is hard to say which thumping is worse, but I would tend to go with the Vikes…at least the 49ers were 16 point underdogs.

I am guessing the Vikes are giving about 3 and the total around 37. I wouldn’t touch this game, but I would be on SF if I had to choose.

“The Man” has the Vikes giving 5 and the total at 43. This total looks high, but ultimately a stay away game for this Guru. I will say that I could easily see this being a trap game for the Vikes…a short week and then traveling west is usually not a good combination.

Cleve @ SD

The Brownies head to SD for a nice vacation…at least until Sunday afternoon. The Browns pulled off a win against the J.E.T.S. Jets Jets Jets…thanks to a horrible call at the end of the game, which would have forced the game into OT. SD meanwhile laid the smack down on the Rams at home. Merriman decided to drop his appeal and will miss this game due to suspension. Phillips is questionable. Foley is out for the year…lots of LB’s out. Good thing the Browns are coming to town. They have scored more than 20 points once and that was against the hapless Raiders. They have not given up many points this year…ranking 10th in scoring D. Could they contain the Bolts powerful offense?

SD should be favored by about 2 TD’s and the total around 38. I can’t imagine betting against the Bolts at this point. I probably wouldn’t touch the total because who knows how many, if any, points the Brownies will score.

“The Man” has SD giving 12.5 and the total at 41. I am really liking the Bolts…the Browns win against the J.E.T.S. Jets Jets Jets didn’t impress me.

Denver @ Pittsburgh

The Defending Super Bowl Champion Pittsburgh Steelers are coming off two huge losses at Oakland and Atlanta. They have killed themselves this year with turnovers. Meanwhile, their great D tends to give up TD’s after these TO’s rather than holding them to FG’s. However, when the opposing teams have less than 100 yards of total offense, you should win the game. Denver meanwhile lost the battle of the horses by a length. Will Jake the Snake get revenge from last year’s AFC championship game?

Being in Pittsburgh, I know the Steelers are favored by about 2 and the total is around 36. I wouldn’t touch this game. If Big Ben doesn’t throw the INT’s and the special teams hand the ball to the other team as regularly as my wife’s monthly bitchy schedule, the Steelers could be 5 – 2…but they aren’t and haven’t proved they can avoid the costly TO’s. If they don’t make the mistakes, they will win this game…the question then is how many turnovers will they have.

“The Man” has the Steelers giving 2.5 and the total at 36.5. Stay away from this game…

Colts @ Pats

Here we go again. The Colts are involved in the game of the week and the preview of the AFC Championship game. The Pats are coming off an impressive win at MN. Their only loss is at home to Denver, whom the Colts just beat on the road. The transitive property of football means that the Colts should win. The Pats bring in the 8th best rushing attack against the worst rushing defense. The Colts bring in the second best offense to face the 3rd best scoring defense. Brady vs. Manning. Sweatshirt Bill is being hailed as a mastermind…can he muster up enough magic to stop this offense?

I am guessing the Pats are a small home favorite and the total around 47. I think this is a stay away game. Unlike last week where we said you don’t give Peyton points, this was against a team that hadn’t scored more than 20 points all year.

“The Man” has the Pats giving 3 and the total at 48…I still hate giving Peyton any points, but Sweatshirt Bill might be the guy who can do it…stay away and enjoy the other winnings.

Oakland @ Seattle

Seattle needs this game badly. This is the definition of must win. Seneca didn’t play bad after having a week to prepare, but the KC offense was just too much for the Seahawk D. Oakland meanwhile comes off a win against the Steelers in which they had less than 100 yards of total offense.

Seattle will be favored by about a TD and the total in the high 30’s. I think Seattle will win and probably cover anything less than a TD, but I can’t recommend anyone wager on Seneca without Shaun in the backfield.

“The Man” has Seattle giving 7.5 and the total at 37…I am guessing ESPN was more excited about Moss vs. Shaun at the beginning of the year…can’t touch this game with Seneca playing.

Kansan weighs in for ND vs. UNC

Notre Dame comes off a fairly nice win against the Middies of the Naval Academy (as an Army guy, I have a different name for them, but I will keep this post G rated). I don’t know why it was so hard to defend the pitch man, but by the second half the Irish D had figured it out and the Irish offense was on all cylinders for most of the afternoon. Now, the Irish face a UNC club with one win under their belt and a lame duck coach at the House that Rockne built. I like ND’s chances.

As my buddy Matt Jones (aka Jones Puss) recently indicated, UNC does have some talent. ND is not facing a club like Navy that wins based off of discipline, guts and hard work, despite having barely a scintilla of talent on. UNC has some athletes, they just don’t use them very well (e.g. Willie Parker). UNC lost a close one last week to Wake Forrest – a 7-1 team with a shot at going to the ACC Championship team. If ND doesn’t show up, they could have another close game which would hurt our BCS standings.

Based on the few reports that I’ve read regarding this week’s preparation, I think Charlie has our boys in the right frame of mind. I look for ND’s offense to have a very good, if not great game. UNC ranks in the bottom tier in almost every defensive statistic. They rank as 90 or lower in defensive yards given up, points allowed, and passing defense. I think UNC comes out spirited, but once ND gets a lead on them they simply cannot have the confidence to think that this defense will stop us. ND needs to get the ball first and march right down the field and score. If that happens, this game may be over at half time.

I like how the Irish Defense has come along. I say this based solely on my preseason expectations. In five years if ND puts a defense like this on the field, I will be extremely disappointed. Ty did a good job of leaving the cupboard bear at numerous positions and he simply didn’t recruit enough defensive stars. The senior class does have a nice group of defensive linemen and Zibby is up to ND’s standards.

ND should win handily and I think UNC scores some garbage points at the end to make it look closer than it really was.

Prediction:
ND: 42 UNC: 17